


Crazy Little Firecracker

by WayHotForHaught



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, Jealousy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-06
Updated: 2020-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:02:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 22,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23035951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WayHotForHaught/pseuds/WayHotForHaught
Summary: In a strange twist of fate, Noah decides to befriend Vanessa. It just might be exactly what Charity and Vanessa need to push them together.
Relationships: Charity Dingle/Vanessa Woodfield
Comments: 14
Kudos: 112





	Crazy Little Firecracker

**Author's Note:**

> I may be extremely new to this pairing, but I am in love with them. I only have one part so far, but I'm more than willing to write a part two if this gets enough love. I have left this story open, just in case.
> 
> I have a Tumblr, my username is wayhotforhaught so come say hi, I like friends.
> 
> Please leave kudos and comments so I know I'm doing okay, the support really helps to keep my motivation up to write these things.
> 
> There are going to be some spelling mistakes, I've tried my best to get rid of them but it's so hard correcting a 22,000 word story, I apologise in advance.

Vanessa Woodfield loved that she was one part of a rowdy trio. Truly, she did. Her friends were caring and reliable and they matched her humour 95% of the time. Rhona Goskirk had been her friend for as long as she could remember, they were thick as thieves. They had clicked the moment they met, and they’ve been stuck to each other like glue ever since. Paddy Kirk hadn’t been quite so easy to impress, but after a lot of convincing, Vanessa can now call him a great friend.

Except, if you asked her in that moment, she’d tell you that she absolutely hated the both of them. 

Of course, what better way could Vanessa spend her time than to have Rhona and Paddy list all the times Vanessa had screwed up in some way?

“Oh! Remember the time that the horse kicked Vanessa so hard she practically flew across the field? Ha!” Paddy exclaimed, hysterically. Rhona burst out laughing, lifting her hand to wipe a stray tear from her eyes. 

“I’m not that small, Paddy, I didn’t fly. And that really hurt, you know! I had to have stitches in my arm for that.” Vanessa shot out, pleading with them to cut her some slack. 

“Hey! The beautiful seats you’re on, they’re free of charge, you know?” Charity Dingle cut in sarcastically, bouncing around with fake enthusiasm, waving her arms around, effectively putting an end to the hate-fest Vanessa was being subjected to. She felt a wave of relief hit her at the silence that followed, sighing quietly to herself.

Rhona rolled her eyes at Charity’s look of distain, “What’s your point, Charity?” She challenged, irritated by the disruption. 

“Oh, I’m so glad you asked.” Charity started, crossing her arms in a power stance, “This isn’t a social club, and I can only keep this place open if idiots like you lot don’t steal my free seats just so you can not drink!” She bit out aggressively.

The pub was pretty much empty, there was no chance that anyone would need their seats, but Vanessa certainly knew to pick her battles when it came to Charity Dingle.

“I tell you what, I’ll have a drink please, Charity. I can’t get through this conversation without one.” Vanessa deadpanned, huffing and glancing at her friends in frustration. 

“Fantastic, Shortie stays. What about you two?” Charity coaxed, wiggling Vanessa’s soon-to-be full pint glass in the air as a bribe. Paddy and Rhona simply nod half heartedly, causing Charity to smile happily. As she poured, she squinted at the three of them, before she leaned forward slightly. “So, what were we gossiping about, again?” She asked, trying to force herself into the previous conversation. Vanessa groaned out in protest, while Paddy and Rhona smirk. 

“We’re throwing all of Vanessa’s mistakes out into the air.” Rhona stated with a giggle. 

Charity smirked at this, “Is this one of those ‘say it out loud and it’ll never hurt you again’ kind of exercises?” She mocked, gesturing quote marks sarcastically as she said it.

“No, simply for humiliation purposes.” Paddy grinned, his eyebrows raising with a look of pure mischief on his face. 

“Sounds perfect, add that hideous scarf to the mix because even God knows that it’s a sin.” Charity joined in, smirking at Vanessa, who growled to herself in frustration. 

“Remember when she tried to take up karate and ended up breaking her own leg?” Rhona gasped, causing Paddy to shout out, obviously remembering that fateful accident. “The bone literally poked out of her leg!” They both whaled, finding the whole thing hysterical. 

“Pictures or it never happened!” Charity exclaimed, a look of pure joy twinkling in her eyes when Rhona reached for her phone to find the photos. Charity leaned her forearms on the bar, looking at Rhona’s phone impatiently. 

“This is real mature, you guys. I’m so glad to be here.” Vanessa sighed out, placing her elbows on the bar, putting her head in her hands. She only knew that Rhona had found the picture because Charity scoffed, banging her hand on the bar a couple of times.

“Oh that is actually disgusting, that makes the scarf look ten times better now.” Charity stated, grimacing down at Rhona’s phone. 

“And there was me thinking you, of all people, would get some sick satisfaction out of the gore.” Vanessa said irritably, lifting her head back up to look at Charity. 

“Oh babe, trust me, the devil inside me is dying with laughter right now.” Charity stated, scrunching her face up, smiling sarcastically before standing up straight and wiping the bar down while Paddy and Rhona continued gossiping. Vanessa just turned away from Charity, choosing to down half of her drink instead. Paddy and Rhona started to shoot stories out left, right and center while Vanessa and Charity watched on, one in embarrassment and one in delight. 

“Remember when she fell into a pile of cow poo!”  
“Oh, what about the reptile incident!”  
“And the time she cried thinking she’d killed a rabbit but it was actually just a hat!  
“Oh, and that time she kissed you, Rhona!”

Everything stopped, suddenly. The laughter, the drinking, even Charity’s previous look of delight seemed to disappear. You could hear a pin drop, in that moment. Everyone turned to look at Paddy with varying expressions. Vanessa was angry that he had spilled such sensitive information, Rhona was worried about the fallout of it and Charity was just downright confused. 

“Wait, what? You locked lips with Wet-Paint over here?” Charity asked, her interest well and truly peeked. Vanessa closed her eyes and waited for the ground to swallow her up, but it didn’t, because that would just be too easy.

“It’s not as dramatic as it sounds.” Rhona tried to say, in an attempt to cool the fire Paddy had ignited. 

“Well, I mean, it was pretty dramatic at the time, it almost ended our marriage.” Paddy continued, obviously not getting the hint to shut up. 

“I mean, it ended in the end anyway, so does it really matter?” Rhona tried to say, but it fell on deaf ears. 

“How have I never heard about this beautiful piece of gossip?” Charity teased, most of her attention focussed on a very mortified Vanessa. “I own a bloody pub for crying out loud, this should be at the top of the list of things I should be hearing about.” She stated, loudly. Vanessa was contemplating leaving; running out of the pub and never, ever coming back. That would be so much better than this conversation. 

“Charity, really, it was nothing-“ Vanessa tried, growling at Paddy when he cut in, again. 

“From what I’ve heard, you shared a pretty passionate kiss.” He laughed, enjoying the dramatics of it all. Charity looked over at Vanessa, a look of concentration taking over her features, before it was replaced with a smirk. 

“The only thing I’d like to know is…” Charity started, placing her forearms back on the bar, leaning forward, as if telling a secret. “…How good a kisser is ‘ole Nessy, over here?” She asked Rhona, with a mysterious looking grin. Rhona seemed extremely uncomfortable with the position she was in.

“Well, it was nice, I guess.” She answered awkwardly, with a shrug. Vanessa squeezed her eyes shut, mortified. She could already hear the remarks Charity was bound to make at that kind of response. Charity frowned at Rhona’s answer.

“Just nice? I wouldn’t stand for that, Vanessa.” Charity laughed, loudly. 

“What? I’m a straight woman, it wasn’t what I was after, but it wasn’t bad either.” Rhona ranted, hoping that that would make her previous comment better. Vanessa wished she’d just have said nothing. 

“Well, with such terrible encouragement from your friend, it’s no wonder you’re not out there swinging the gay flag around the place, eh?” Charity exclaims, Rhona rolls her eyes at the dig. Vanessa isn’t at all sure what Charity’s intentions are with this conversation, is she trying to support her or tease her. “Don’t worry, babe. I bet you have a killer kiss.” Charity tells her, winking at her, followed by her trademark smirk. 

Vanessa has no idea why, but her neck heats up at the attention, she crinkles her nose up in disgust at her own reaction to the comment, before gritting her teeth and scratching the back of her neck in frustration. So much for a quiet pint with friends.

“It didn’t mean anything, okay? A lapse of judgement, that’s all.” Vanessa insisted, hoping that this would end the conversation. 

“I mean, how can it be a lapse of judgement if it happened more then once?” Paddy questioned out loud, failing to understand just how terribly he was messing up.

“Oh Paddy, you’re pulling no punches tonight, huh?” Charity laughed, her shoulders shaking with the strength of it. Paddy frowned in confusion, causing Charity to huff. “Way I see it, it’s a missed opportunity. Men suck.” Charity stated. At Rhona’s look of mortification, Charity huffed. “I don’t mean a missed opportunity with you, you divvy. Nessy here can bag way better.” Charity stated, throwing another wink at Vanessa before turning to grab a rag, drying some of the glasses that had been washed up and stacking them on the shelves under the bar. 

Rhona and Vanessa shared a look, both confused by Charity’s antics. 

Suddenly Charity’s son, Noah, walked through the front door, making a bee-line for the back, probably heading straight to his room, like teenagers do. Vanessa was grateful for the distraction, if she’s honest, far too much attention was on her right now.

“Hey Noah, wanna see something gross?” Charity called, grabbing his attention. Normally he’d just grunt and ignore her, but like most teenagers, the unknown peeked his interest. Vanessa reached for her scarf, bracing herself for the potential insult. Instead, Charity reached over and grabbed Rhona’s phone, which still had Vanessa’s snapped leg on the screen. He looked down at it, nodding in approval. 

“Cool, who’s that?” He asked. 

“Well…” Charity drummed her hands on the bar in an attempt to create an atmosphere. Everyone collectively rolled their eyes at her, causing her to stop and huff. 

“It was Vanessa.” She stated, throwing her hands up in irritation, angry that they had killed her excitement. 

His eyebrows shot up, pointing over at Vanessa. “You?” He questioned, shocked. She simply nodded, causing him to grin. “Can I see the scar?” He asked eagerly, making her laugh. She pulled her trousers up, lifting her leg up to rest on one of the stools next to her, and sure enough, there was a large scar on the lower part of her leg, just above her ankle, where the bone had pierced the skin. “Woah! So you’re like, cool, or something?” Noah asked, though the awe on his face answered his own question. 

“Or something.” Charity stated, quietly, looking over the bar at Vanessa’s scar. Vanessa turned to her, confused by the unreadable expression on her face. 

“Do you have any more scars?” Noah cut in, stealing Vanessa’s attention. She smiled, sheepishly. 

“I have a bunch of different scars, I’ve always been a bit clumsy.” Vanessa answered, truthfully. 

“Well hey, feel free to come up sometime and show off some of those scars, yeah?” Charity offered, making a clicking noise with her tongue and smirking, throwing a rag onto her shoulder. Vanessa didn’t even know what to say to that, so she chose to fiddle with her hands instead of responding. Charity followed the action, gesturing down towards her hands with a wink. Vanessa flushed, but she didn’t back down, challenging Charity’s stare.

“Mum, stop being weird.” Noah grunted, moving towards the back door, slicing through the unexplainable atmosphere in the room. Charity’s smile fell, a frown replacing it. “See you later, Vanessa.” Noah called out, as he left. Vanessa’s eyebrows shot up, confused by the interaction. She was pretty certain that she had never had a full conversation with that boy before today. It had turned into a really weird night. 

“Well, you’re clearly a charmer if you can grab my boy’s attention, I should probably tell him that you don’t bat for that side though before you go breaking his heart.” She laughed, pretending to swing a bat as she spoke. Vanessa looked up at the ceiling, sending out a silent prayer to whoever was listening. 

“Well, I think it’s time to hit the hay.” Paddy stated, standing and drinking the last of his drink. Rhona and Vanessa both gave him a quiet goodbye, both perplexed and irritated by his sudden word vomit. 

“Oh, so soon? Such a shame. Bye.” Charity called out, sarcastically. Paddy frowned at her, but chose not to speak. Instead he walked into the back, through the same door Noah had. 

“I suppose I should be heading out too, Pete will be wondering where I am.” Rhona said, picking her bag up off the bar and placing the strap on her shoulder, before standing and moving to hug Vanessa. 

“You could have been going home with Vanessa, but instead you’re going home to a hairy, cow-poo scented man, you sure have fallen on hard times, Rhona.” Charity teased, shrugging at Rhona when she glared at her. “I might actually get some punters now that you’ve stopped hogging the seats un’all!” She called after Rhona’s retreating form. Vanessa just rolled her eyes at Charity, starting to pack up her own things too. “Oh, I didn’t mean you, you can stay.” She offered, with a smile that almost seemed genuine, but Vanessa just wasn’t sure with Charity.

“I thought I’d be scaring off the punters.” Vanessa mocked, with a huff, but she stopped packing away for the moment. 

“Babe, you’ll be bringing the punters in. With a face like that, you can stay all night, every night.” Charity practically purred, leaning forward on her arms again. Vanessa raised her eyebrows, unconvinced by Charity’s behaviour. “There’s just one thing we need to do…” She trailed off, leaning forward. Vanessa’s body stilled, watching as Charity reached across the bar, towards her neck. Her hands were cold as they brushed against her skin unnecessarily, grabbing for her scarf. She untied it slowly, pulling it off, and it left Vanessa breathless without reason. 

“Perfect, don’t want that monstrosity getting in the way of all the money you’re going to be making me.” She finished, proudly. 

“You know, that would only work if people knew that I was in here.” Vanessa voiced, with a laugh. 

“Well, looks like I’ll just have to keep you company until they realise you’re here, then.” She grinned, a certain cheekiness to it that Vanessa had never seen before.

Ironically, the pub did actually get busier once Paddy and Rhona had both gone home, which meant that Vanessa didn’t really have a reason to stick around anymore, not that Charity was necessarily a reason to stay, but Vanessa had been brought up with manners, and when someone asks you to spend time with them, you don’t just leave. 

Now, it may be the second time in 24 hours, but there’s a good reason that Vanessa headed into The Woolpack this time; she forgot to grab her scarf last night. When she walked in, Charity wasn’t stood at the bar, which caused a dull pang to hit her stomach. She walked over and grabbed Chas’s attention instead. 

“Hey, hun.” She greeted, tiredly. 

“Hey Chas, I don’t suppose Charity has left my scarf around the back there at all, has she?” Vanessa asked, watching Chas lift boxes of beer from one part of the bar to the next, unloading them into fridges. 

“Why on Earth would she have your scarf?” Chas probed, looking over at Vanessa with a frown.

“She said that even god knew it was a sin, therefore I shouldn’t be wearing it.” Vanessa answered, dryly. 

“Oh, that’s our Charity, alright.” She replied, laughing. “Look, I’m sorry, I’m a little busy right now. Why don’t you go on through and see if you can find it.” She offered, clearly only half focussed on her conversation. 

“Are you sure? I don’t want to step on any toes.” Vanessa asked, nervously. 

“Don’t be silly, go on.” Chas coaxed, counting as she stacked. Vanessa smiled, making her way through to the back. She glanced around, trying not to pry too much, while also trying to be thorough enough not to miss it. She was shocked when she suddenly came face to face with Charity, dressed only in a silk dressing gown and messy bed hair. Charity looked just as shocked, a flicker of insecurity settling in her eyes for just a moment, before her walls came up.

“Taking me up on that scar-sharing offer, are we?” She mumbled suggestively, Vanessa’s neck suddenly felt red hot, reacting to Charity’s flirty tone. 

“No, just- I’m looking for my scarf.” Vanessa tried to say, stumbling over her words slightly. It seemed to give Charity even more confidence, she stepped forward, perching herself on the edge of the sofa, crossing one leg over the other, revealing one smooth leg. Vanessa refused to look, trying to keep her eyes on anything else instead. Literally, anything.

“I should’ve burned it, really. But who knows, it might come in handy one day.” Charity let the suggestion linger in the air, causing Vanessa to shuffle from one foot to the other in embarrassment, “Oh, stop being so touchy, Shortie. I just mean I can gag Paddy one day, if need be. We all know he’s a loose cannon.” She finished, but the bright smile and the glint in her eye suggested that maybe she wasn’t thinking about Paddy. 

“You know what, I’ll just leave it for now, I don’t really need it any-“ Vanessa started to ramble, her nerves shot to hell, but it seemed like someone was throwing her a bone, as Noah walked in, his eyes seeming to light up at her presence. 

“Hey, Vanessa!” He started, she grinned and gave him a little wave. “There are some cool movies Mum bought a while back that we’ve been meaning to watch, you should join us.” He suggested, causing Vanessa’s eyes to bulge in surprise. 

“That’s really sweet, Noah, I’d like that. But I can’t just shove myself into your mums plans like that, maybe another ti-“ Vanessa began, trying to shoot him down softly, she could already see his smile starting to slip, and it kind of broke her heart, a little.

“I think that’s a great idea, Noah. As long as Vanessa isn’t meant to be at work today?” Charity directed the question at Vanessa, and Vanessa shot her a look, perplexed by the whole situation, and whether or not to agree to stay. It seemed like Charity was giving her the opportunity to say no, if she didn’t feel comfortable, which made her body feel warm, for some reason. 

“I mean, it’s my day off, so…” Vanessa trailed off, she didn’t want to just outright say yes, if Charity was actually trying to get rid of her, so she left it open for her to decide. 

“Scary movies it is.” Charity smiled, laughing at Noah’s look of pure delight. 

“Cool, I’ll get the blankets!” He started to run upstairs, but called back down to Charity, “Mum, you’re on popcorn duty!” 

Vanessa laughed while Charity rolled her eyes, pointing her thumb behind her, “I best do that, or we’ll get grumpy Noah back, and we don’t want that.” She chuckled, getting off the sofa and walking backwards towards the kitchen, she kept her eyes on Vanessa until the last second, turning on her heel to start poking around in cupboards. 

Vanessa took this time to shrug her coat off, leaving it on one of the chairs by the table. She glanced around at all of the photos, grinning at the ones of Charity pulling funny faces with her kids. It seemed like Vanessa was intruding on a real personal piece of Charity’s life, a part of her that she rarely shared. She focussed on a particular picture, of Noah and Charity, grinning away. The moment made a lump form in Vanessa’s throat, it just seemed to sweet. 

“Thank you.” She heard, behind her. She swivelled round to look at Charity, who had also stopped to glance at the photo of herself and Noah. “Thank you, for saying yes. It’s really rare that Noah wants to do these things with me, so- yeah, thanks.” She finished, looking somewhat embarrassed, and flustered. It made Vanessa’s heart expand. She wasn’t quite sure how it had happened, but she’s now part of a really important day for Charity, and she’d be damned if she messed that up for her. 

“I got them!” Noah shouted, running down the stairs with a huge bundle of blankets in his arms.

“Steady on, Noah! you could have tripped down the stairs like that!” Charity exclaimed, worry niggling in her voice. Noah just waved the comment away, too busy fussing over the sofa, making it comfy and movie-ready. Charity filled two large bowls with popcorn, placing them on the table in front of them, before throwing herself down on the sofa. Noah jumped down on to the opposite side of the sofa, leaving a small gap in the middle for Vanessa. 

“Well this is going to be a tight squeeze.” Venessa laughed, trying to keep the nerves out of her voice. 

“Just sit down, Babe. I won’t bite. Unless you want me too.” Charity suggested, wiggling her eyebrows. Noah groaned loudly, huffing at Charity. “What?” She asked, picking up on his anger. 

“You’re going to scare her off if you keep being all weird!” Noah yelled out, a deep frown on his face. Charity’s face fell, her mouth closed, and she curled in on herself a bit. Vanessa didn’t like how those small movements made her heart clench. 

“Give me some credit, Noah, I don’t scare that easily.” Vanessa voiced confidently, before plopping herself down between the two. She couldn’t explain it, because she didn’t see it, but she felt Charity look at her in that moment. An unexplainable feeling came across her at the action. It felt like she was being observed, like she was something complicated; something you couldn’t just think about and figure out in the same second. 

“Here.” Noah said, handing two blankets over. “The cloudy one is for Mum, you get the rainbow one.” He told her, no room for argument. He started up the DVD, sighing impatiently at the adverts.

“Very fitting.” Charity sniggered, looking down at Vanessa, cocooned in rainbows.

Vanessa huffed at her, then at the blanket. “You really have got the wrong end of the stick, you know? I’m not… It was just the once.” Vanessa insisted, with a frown. 

“Please, what makes Rhona so special?” Charity laughed, though the laugh sounded forced. 

“I was confused, I thought I loved her, but I didn’t. That’s it.” Vanessa whispered, as quietly as she could, leaning towards Charity in order to keep the conversation between them two. 

“Wait, it wasn’t just a kiss? You loved her?” Charity whispered, though she somehow managed to make the whisper come across like she was yelling at her. 

“No- I just- I was confused, that’s all. It wasn’t real.” Vanessa stated, looking down at the ground, this topic always seemed to bring out her gloomy side. Maybe it was her that should have the cloudy blanket. 

Charity was quiet, for a really long time. The movie started, and they all settled in to watch it. Vanessa could tell that Charity wasn’t concentrating, which meant that she wasn’t concentrating. Poor Noah. 

Suddenly, Charity leaned a bit more into Vanessa’s side, turning her mouth towards Vanessa’s ear. Her lips ghosted over her ear slightly, as she whispered really quietly. 

“I think you should test the waters.” She stated. Vanessa’s eyebrows arched up in confusion, Charity must have noticed because she carried on.”One time, one terrible time, can’t determine what you’ll like for the rest of your life, can it? That’s ridiculous. You should try again. Find a gorgeous woman, and kiss the shit out of her.” She told her, sounding absolutely sure about herself. Vanessa didn’t even know what to say, her initial reaction was ‘ABSOLUTELY NOT’ followed by confusion, and then, maybe, intrigue? 

“I volunteer as tribute?” She said next, causing Vanessa to shoot her eyes round to look at Charity. She searched Charity’s eyes, fishing for any kind of sarcasm or teasing or, well, anything. She couldn’t really see any emotion though, it was blank, like she had her walls up. So she shifted her view up to her eyebrows, then to her hair line and around the waves of her blonde hair, following that round the length of her face, until she caught sight of her lips. Soft, inviting. No smirk, which was strange. Strange enough, in fact, that it pulled her out of whatever stupid trance she had fallen into. She ripped her eyes away from Charity and over towards the TV just in time to see a man snap his arm, the bone poking out. She quickly glanced away from that, too.

“Look Vanessa, he’s like you!” Noah laughed, enjoying the drama of it all.

Vanessa’s phone pinged in her pocket, so she shuffled to get to it. When she finally managed to find her hands in the bundle of blankets, she looked at the screen. Rhona had texted her. 

“Ooh, do you think she wants to give it another try? Bet she was thinking about you all night.” Charity suggested, laughing cheekily. 

“Give over, Charity. We normally go for a coffee today, that’s all.” Vanessa corrected, but it’s clear that Charity wasn’t finished. 

“I bet you a fiver that she’s offering to have coffee at hers.” Charity said, challengingly. 

Vanessa ignored her and chose to look at the message instead. 

Hey Ness, I thought it’d be nice to catch up at mine instead, see you in an hour? – Rhona 

Charity laughed victoriously, while Vanessa gritted her teeth. Charity stopped laughing when Vanessa started to tap a response on her phone. 

Sorry Rhona, I can’t today. Noah asked me to watch movies with him and Charity. Next time though, okay? – Vanessa

“You don’t have to stay if you have other plans.” Charity whispered to her, sounding a little shaky.  
“No, I said I’d be here, so I’ll be here.” Vanessa insisted, throwing Charity a genuine smile. Charity gave her a small smile back, before turning to look at the movie again. 

After a while, Charity moved her arm so it was behind Vanessa, her elbow leaning on the back of the sofa and her head leaning on her hand. It pretty much cut off all space between them, Charity was leaning in so close that her hair started to brush Vanessa’s face. It was all very distracting. 

“So, what’s your type then?” Charity asked, quietly. Vanessa glanced in her direction, frowning. 

“I think the standard response is tall, dark and handsome.” She deadpanned, trying to focus on the movie. Charity chuckled. 

“I meant your type of woman.” She stated, grinning. 

“I don’t have one, because I don’t like women.” She huffed out in frustration. 

“So you just like Rhona then?” Charity pushed, and it made Vanessa want to scream with irritation. 

“I don’t like Rhona, Charity.” Vanessa bit out angrily, leaning away from her slightly to warn her off asking any more questions on the matter. Charity took the hint, choosing not to ask anything else, but she smirked nonetheless. 

At one point, without looking, Vanessa reached into the bowl to grab some popcorn. Low and behold, Charity had gone to do the same thing, Vanessa grabbed her handful and pulled away quickly, while Charity lingered, with a grin. 

“So Cliché, babe. If you wanted to hold my hand, all you had to do was ask.” Charity practically giggled, loving the effect she had on Vanessa, who turned red with embarrassment. 

“Is it possible for you to go one day without flirting with someone? Seriously Mum, it’ll be Vanessa today and Daz tomorrow!” Noah suddenly yelled, his frustration evident in his voice. Charity looked insulted.

“Noah, babe. Don’t insult me, I do have standards!” She shot out, in anger, before turning away and whispering to herself. “Daz? Bloody Daz?” Shuddering in disgust. “Besides, I thought you’d like me flirting with your new bestie?” Charity continued, looking between Noah and Vanessa for emphasis. 

“No! Why would I? You’d only leave her in the end too, and then I wouldn’t get to do this anymore!” He shouted, grumpily. Charity shut her mouth after that, leaving the atmosphere incredibly tense. 

The movie ended not long after, and everyone kind of sat there for a moment, unmoving. Noah eventually huffed, making a move towards the DVD player. 

“I guess you’ll be leaving now then?” He asked her, accusingly. She frowned at his tone. Charity clearly felt guilty for the atmosphere, putting her head in her hands.

“I mean, I thought this was meant to be a movie day, not just one movie…” Vanessa started, huffing teasingly before sitting up slightly. Noah looked round at her in surprise, while Charity removed her hands from her face, looking at Vanessa in confusion. “But, I mean, if you want me to go, I guess I’ll just-“ She continued, dramatically, clearly messing with him. 

“I don’t want you to go! I just- I mean, I thought you’d want to.” He finished, lamely. Placing the other film in its case, before placing the DVD back in the cabinet. 

“I was kind of hoping to lounge about all night, I was also aiming to call it a take-away day too, but I guess we can reschedule if you guys are busy.” Vanessa continued to tease, eyes twinkling happily at the grin slowly appearing on Noah’s face. “Oh, what’re you waiting for, you dummy. Put the next one in!” She gestured towards the TV, moving back on the sofa to get comfy once more. Noah hastily began taking the CD out of the case, causing Vanessa to laugh. 

She saw Charity looking at her again, from the corner of her eye. 

“You don’t have to do this, you know? There’s a lot of baggage, that wont be the last of the rows, you’ll probably feel awkward 99% of the time...” Charity pushed, almost nudging her to leave instead. Vanessa shoved her shoulder into Charity’s instead.

“Shut up, you drama queen. Noah’s great, and I suppose you’re not so bad.” Vanessa joked, winking at Charity. Charity looked at her, searching her eyes for something, and although Vanessa had absolutely no idea what she was looking for, she seemed to find it anyway, her body physically relaxing back into the sofa.

“You’re not so bad yourself, Short Stuff.” She stated, softly. Charity looked away, so Vanessa did too. 

Later that same night, surrounded by chip shop paper and popcorn, Noah had conked out on the sofa. Charity gave him a soft look that Vanessa had never seen before, but decided she really liked. 

“I’ve not seen him like this in a long time, you know? Especially in my company.” Charity admitted, sadly. 

“Well, this is a good starting point. Now you’ve just got to keep up with it.” Vanessa encouraged with a smile. “You can do it, you just have to take that leap.” She continued, though Charity looked unconvinced. 

“Yeah…” She trailed off, anxiously. Suddenly her eyes lit up, “Hey! Why don’t we make this a weekly thing?” At Vanessa’s wide eyed reaction, she carried on, “Oh go on, Noah would be ecstatic if you said yes, he practically loves you!” She looked at Vanessa frantically, her eyes trailing over Vanessa’s face, pleading with her. “Look, you’d be doing me a huge favour, I don’t know how to do all of this and you do it so effortlessly, if you’re here to help break the ice, I might be able to get Noah back on my side again, I’ve missed this so much.” Charity rants, her voice starting off pitchy but trailing off softly towards the end, Vanessa’s hesitancy unwavering. “You know what, don’t worry. It’s a crap idea.” She finished, turning away. 

“I’ll help.” Vanessa tells her, gently. Cursing herself inwardly for her need to always help people. 

“Yeah? Oh, babe!” Charity cries out happily, turning in her seat to hug Vanessa, causing a shot of panic to shoot straight through her body. Charity definitely doesn’t seem like a hugger, maybe she isn’t, if the way she suddenly tenses is anything to go by. Vanessa decides to humour her, wrapping her own arms around the woman’s neck, causing Charity to relax somewhat, letting her hands fall to Vanessa’s waist, playing with the fabric ever so slightly. 

It all seems a bit… Intimate? A bit too soft and a bit too tentative. It makes Vanessa want to fidget, but there’s not really anything to fidget with, apart from the small hairs on the back of Charity’s neck, which really would be too intimate. So she doesn’t do that. But she’s thinking about it, and that’s enough to make her panic. She pulls away abruptly, coming face to face with Charity instead, who has loosened her grip, but hasn’t quite let go. Her eyes look gentle and safe, before becoming guarded all of a sudden. She pulls back, throwing a smirk on her face, but Vanessa knows it’s an act, she just doesn’t quite understand why.

Vanessa yawns, looking over at Noah, trying to focus on anything that isn’t Charity. She starts to gather her things up, before standing and placing the blanket where she had been sitting. Charity stands too, moving with Vanessa as she grabs her coat, sliding it on. 

“So this has been fun, I’ll see you next week, yeah?” Charity reminds her, worry etched into her voice. 

“I’m sure you’ll see me before next week, but yeah, same time, same place.” Vanessa reassures her, watching the relief overtake Charity’s face. It makes her feel good, knowing there’s something she can do to help Charity, she never thought they’d find any kind of common ground before today.

As Vanessa turns towards the door, Charity follows her, stopping as Vanessa does. They both hover there, Charity leant on the doorframe while Vanessa held the front of her own coat nervously. 

Charity looks down at her, searching her face, before that cheeky smile comes back.

“I could kiss you now, if you want? Then you wouldn’t have to wonder ‘what if’ ever again.” Charity wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. 

“I think we both know I’m too old for the whole sexual explorations thing, Charity.” Vanessa stated, dodging the actual question itself. Charity scoffs.

“Who says you’re too old? You’re hot and available, who cares if it’s a man or a woman you decide to shack up with?” Charity says, and it calms the nerves Vanessa feels bubbling in her stomach at the subject. It may be odd, but in her own way, Charity is really showing her support, and Vanessa really appreciates it. “So not tonight, but another night?” Charity offers with a grin, causing Vanessa to roll her eyes and turn away from her. 

“Goodnight, Charity.” She calls out. 

“Night, babe.” She hears behind her.

It’s only when she makes her way out of the pub and into the street that she realises that she didn’t actually shoot down Charity’s offer. She sighs to herself, Charity won’t let that go, so she’ll just have to shut it down next time they see each other.

Vanessa didn’t see much of Charity all week, both too busy being mums and working. When they did manage to catch each other in passing, they’d exchange hesitant smiles and waves. This new friendship they seemed to have formed had completely taken Vanessa by surprise, but it was intriguing, so Vanessa wasn’t going to complain. 

Time seemed to fly by quickly though, it wasn’t long before Vanessa approached the pub again, keeping the promise she had made to come help Charity with Noah, although she can’t say she’s just here to help them. She really likes the bond Noah and her seem to be building right now, and she really likes the fact that she is one of the few people in the world that Charity is opening up to, even if it is only a little glimpse every now and then, Vanessa will take whatever she is given. 

She walks into the pub, letting the smell of stale bear hit her nostrils, before striding over to the bar. Chas smiles at her, turning to greet her properly. 

“Hey, what can I get you, love?” She asks, already reaching for a pint glass. This makes Vanessa nervous, Charity clearly hadn’t updated Chas on their arrangement, so how does Vanessa play this?

“Oh, nothing for me just yet, Chas. I’m actually hoping to talk to Charity, if that’s okay?” Vanessa asks, glancing at the doorway round the back, Chas raises an eyebrow curiously, before gesturing for her to go. 

“Sure, go ahead, maybe you can cheer her up, she’s been a right grump today.” Chas admits, huffing in frustration. Vanessa frowns sympathetically, squeezing Chas’s arm affectionately in support on her way past, Chas just smiles in thanks. 

Just as Vanessa goes to walk through the door into the living room, Charity rushes out, almost whacking her with the door in her haste. She stops suddenly when she sees her, looking caught of guard at the company.

“Was I not meant to come, or?” Vanessa trailed off, confused at Charity’s behaviour.

“N-No, I just-“ Charity started, looking back at the room she had just left before shoving her way out of the door, pushing it closed behind her. Vanessa looked up at her, unsure what was happening. “I mean, I told Noah not to get his hopes up, because we haven’t seen much of you, I didn’t expect you to actually turn up…” Charity admitted, sheepishly. “I was just about to pop out to grab some of his favourite snacks, to soften the blow.” She said, hesitantly. 

“To soften the blow of me not turning up?” Vanessa asked for clarification, a puzzled smile on her face.

“Well… Yeah.” Charity finished, lamely. It warmed Vanessa’s heart a little, to know that Noah actually did seem to like her. 

“Well, you best turn back, because I’m here.” Vanessa smiled, trying to move past her to get inside, but Charity hesitated. “…If you still want me, that is?” Vanessa asked with a huff. 

“Listen, I was a tiny bit relieved when I thought you weren’t coming-“ She began, her forehead creasing with worry, but Vanessa was only focussed on her being relieved. 

“Charming, Charity. Really charming.” Vanessa cut in, turning to walk back out of the pub, but Charity grabbed hold of her arm gently, tugging her back.

“No, no! I didn’t mean that to come out like that!” Charity pleaded, desperately. 

“There’s not really any other way to confess that you were relieved that I wasn’t coming to this arrangement that you planned!” Vanessa gritted out, on the defensive. Charity tugged on her arm once more when Vanessa tried to leave again. “Charity!” 

“Vanessa, listen!” Charity yelled in frustration, clearly distressed. “I’m embarrassed, okay!” She tried, causing Vanessa to hesitate. “Noah had this whole amazing plan in his head to impress you, and he’s halfway through the process, which means my home is turned upside down until he’s actually finished. The place is a mess. I didn’t want you to see that.” She sighed, gritting her teeth angrily. Vanessa paused, eyes Charity sceptically. She was so stressed that Vanessa decided to go easy on her. 

“Why are you embarrassed about me seeing it, I’ve had my hands up far too many cows to be offended by mess.” Vanessa asked, humour in her voice. She felt ecstatic when Charity smiled slightly at the comment. She seemed to battle with herself for a short while, before turning back round to open the door. She went to walk through, but stopped again. 

“It’s a real mess, okay?” She warned, biting her lip slightly out of nervousness. Vanessa followed the movement of her mouth, before quickly nodding her head, looking at the door instead. Charity huffed, before pushing the door open.

“Oh wow.” Vanessa stated when she saw the room. There were pillows and cushions and blankets absolutely everywhere, all the furniture was in the wrong place, and Noah was busying himself with the TV when she caught his eye.

“You came! Mum has been telling me you wouldn’t come for days, she’s been in the worst mood, but I knew you would!” He yelled in excitement, causing her to grin. Charity grimaced in embarrassment.

“I’m happy to be here, Noah, but what on earth are you doing?” Vanessa asked through a chuckle. 

“This is the amazing idea he had.” Charity mentioned, rubbing her face with her hand, looking every bit as stressed as she sounded. 

“I’m building us a fort, so we can watch movies in it!” He told her, a joyous twinkle in his eye, lighting up his whole face. Charity groaned out loud, turning to Vanessa. 

“I’m so sorry, this wasn’t part of the pl-“ She started, before Vanessa cut her off.

“Why are you apologising, this is great! Can I help?” She asked, eagerly. Noah grinned at her, nodding frantically. Vanessa jumped straight in, piling up pillows and chairs to keep the blankets in place. Noah got straight back to work too, leaving Charity at the door, looking incredibly confused, but slightly amused. 

“This is ridiculous.” Charity stated, unimpressed. Vanessa scoffed next to her. 

“Give over, you started helping me out at one point!” Vanessa shouted in exasperation. 

“Yeah, because I didn’t want you to break any of your teeny tiny limbs pushing my furniture around.” Charity defended, clearly in denial. Vanessa just groaned at her stubbornness before moving to look inside the fort. It looked pretty amazing, they had little fairy lights inside, and they’d managed to get the blankets to reach up to the TV on the wall, so they could use the TV for the movies instead of Charity’s laptop. It was packed full of blankets and pillows, the perfect safe space. 

“Can we watch a movie now?” Noah asked impatiently, from inside the tent. Vanessa gave him a thumbs up. He smiled brightly, launching himself towards the DVD player. 

“You’re going to steal my son.” Charity stated, but it was lighthearted. Vanessa rolled her eyes, smiling.

“Don’t be daft, did you see how happy he was when you did actually start joining in? It was like Christmas came early, Charity. That boy adores you, you just need to do the little things. The little things matter the most.” She smiled, patting Charity’s back softly in encouragement. Charity’s eyes shot to hers, and although the look wasn’t mean, it was certainly guarded, so Vanessa moved her hand away.

“Come on!” Noah pressed, impatiently. Vanessa turned away from Charity and climbed in, making herself comfortable. Charity followed suit, laying herself down too. Noah was so excited, he sat closer to the TV, by their feet. He put on some superhero movie with a plant and a raccoon and Vanessa knew she never stood a chance. She leaned on her right side, propping her arm up on her hand, her other hand resting in front of her. Charity copied her position, laying on her left, facing Vanessa. 

Noah laughed at something one of the characters said, and Vanessa frowned, turning to Charity. “Do you know this one?” 

Charity scoffed, shaking her head. “Babe, I’m only here for the company.” She winked, punching Vanessa lightly on the shoulder. She tilted her head at Charity, unsure how to react. Charity kept doing this, weaving in and out of flirty behaviour, Vanessa couldn’t keep up. She looked at Vanessa for a while, her stare was intense, yet hard to read. “Have your relationships with men satisfied you?” She asked, like it was the most simple question ever. 

“If they had, I’d still be in them, surely?” Vanessa answered, with a frown. 

“Don’t be a smartarse, you know what I’m asking you.” Charity pressed, though Vanessa’s not so sure she does know what Charity is implying. 

“You’re going to have to give me more than that, Charity.” Vanessa huffed, causing Charity to roll her eyes and readjust her position, moving closer ever so slightly. 

“I know they ended for some kind of reason, but before they ended, were you completely satisfied? Emotionally?... Physically?” Charity elaborated, whispering the last word, worried that she was overstepping. Vanessa wasn’t sure how to answer that question. She’d gotten her little boy, Johnny, out of it, so she certainly didn’t regret it. 

“My relationships, all of them, served a purpose. They didn’t meet all of my standards, but then, when do you ever get a relationship that 100% ticks all of your boxes?” Charity raised her eyebrows slightly, nodding in agreement. Vanessa thought about continuing, but hesitated.

“Say it.” Charity encouraged, softly.

“Say what?” Vanessa asked.

“Whatever it is you want to say. It’s clear that you want to, and I’m listening.” Charity smiled. 

It shocks Vanessa sometimes; just how observant Charity really is. She notices when Vanessa struggles over something, or when she needs something. She’s so attentive. Vanessa never would have thought that Charity would have such a selfless trait, which upsets her, because it means she’s still judging Charity, just as harshly as everyone else. 

“Safe space?” Vanessa asked, needing to know that this stays between them.

Charity looks around them in that moment, chuckling. 

“Babe, could it get any safer than this?” She laughed, and Vanessa smiled, she’s got a point there.

“The men I’ve been with… Well, they’ve never- you know?...” Vanessa tried to say, but it looks like Charity doesn’t have a clue what she’s getting at, if her frown is anything to go by. “I’ve never been satisfied, by men…” She pushed on, hoping Charity will clock on, but she’s still not twigged. “In the bedroom.” She whispered, ashamed. She looked away the moment she saw Charity’s eyes widen in surprise, feeling embarrassed.

“Oh babe, your body’s been robbed.” Charity said, quietly. Vanessa looked over at her, shocked by how soft her voice is, no traces of mockery in it. There Vanessa goes again, underestimating her. “With a figure like that, you should be the main attraction, never the afterthought.” She told her, making her blush slightly, looking away. “I mean it, you know? Men don’t know where anything is, they’re useless.” Charity finished, scowling to herself, looking truly angry at Vanessa’s admission. 

“Is this the point where you tell me it would be better with a woman.” Vanessa asked, sarcastically, though there’s no nastiness to it, just teasing. 

“I mean, yeah. Babe, women know where to be, where to touch, where to lick.” Vanessa’s stomach flipped, Charity said it so matter of factly that Vanessa had to turn away in embarrassment, she’s really glad they’re whispering, she doesn’t want Noah falling into this kind of conversation. She gets a little overwhelmed, the topic making her nervous. Charity seemed to sense this too, because her next comment is said so lightheartedly, Vanessa knows she’s trying to lighten the mood. “I’m here if you need some assistance.” She offered, wiggling her eyebrows. 

Vanessa looked at her, really taking in every feature. She is a beautiful woman, there’s no denying that. If she did accept an offer like that, there’s no doubt that she’d have an amazing time. Charity looked confident, like she knew her way in the bedroom. But Vanessa couldn’t say yes, could she? This is still just a tentative friendship, Noah is already concerned that Vanessa will run off, she can’t help create a situation that might lead to that. 

She realised she’s staring when Charity shifts, looking down at Vanessa’s lips, which are being crushed by her own teeth. She released her lip, tasting blood. “I don’t mean to sound cocky, but it looks like you gave that some thought.” Charity said with a smug smile. Vanessa doesn’t say anything, choosing to turn and watch the movie instead, but she can still feel eyes on her.

“We should go out sometime.” Charity suggested. Vanessa whips her head back round, blown away by the suggestion. 

“What?” She questioned, shocked. 

“I think we should hit the town and find you a beautiful woman to have your dirty way with.” Charity urged, smirking. Vanessa frowns, Charity hadn’t meant that they should go out, together, alone. She isn’t disappointed, at all. She gets an uncomfortable pang in her chest, like her stomach is mocking her. Charity frowned slightly, clearly noticing her shift in mood, but thankfully chose not to point it out. 

“Maybe I should just find a decent man.” Vanessa countered, stubbornly. 

“Oh no, definitely don’t do that. That won’t help at all.” Charity told her, shaking her head.

Vanessa huffed, turning back towards the movie again. Charity leaned forward, tucking a stray hair behind Vanessa’s ear. She did it so softly that it made Vanessa’s stomach flip with emotion. She turned back to look at Charity, biting her lip, ignoring the taste of blood. 

“Mum!” Noah shouted, suddenly. Charity’s arm flew away, while Vanessa pulled away sheepishly. “Stop flirting! She’s going to leave!” He yelled fearfully. Charity moved to sit up, but Vanessa decided to talk before it got too out of hand.

“Noah, I’m a single mother, I’m never going to run away at some light flirting. At the very least, it’s extremely flattering.” Vanessa reassured, winking at him. She chose to avoid Charity’s eye, unsure whether this is what she would have wanted Vanessa to tell her son. 

“Really? It doesn’t make you angry?” He asked, worry still niggling in his voice. 

“Are you kidding? A beautiful woman like your Mum? I’m honoured!” Vanessa exclaimed, grinning at him to let him know she had no intention of leaving. She made the terrible mistake of looking in Charity’s direction though. The look on her face was so soft that Vanessa thought she might cry. There was something so guarded about the look she was giving her, but there was so much emotion on her face that Vanessa thought her chest might burst straight out of her chest. Vanessa wanted to continue, to explain herself in some way, so this wouldn’t become awkward, but she didn’t get the chance. 

Somewhere in the distance, Chas yelled Charity’s name. 

“Charity, I’m going to need some…” The door opened and she trailed off, before the trio heard her gasp. “What the- what’s going on in here?” She blurted, stunned to see the room in such disarray. 

Noah huffed and paused the movie, turning to crawl out of the makeshift fort. Vanessa looked at Charity hesitantly, who looked completely dazed, before looking down and crawling out too. Charity took her time exiting the fort too, looking distracted. 

“Hello, earth to Charity!” Chas coaxed, sounding frustrated. 

“I- Sorry, we’re having a- um, a movie day.” Charity stuttered, uncharacteristically. Chas looked from Charity to Vanessa, completely confused. 

“Okay… Well, I need help in the bar, so, could you put this on hold, please?” Chas asked, though she didn’t really wait for Charity to reply before she walked straight out of the room again. Noah looked put out, which made Vanessa frown. 

“Hey, it’s okay, kiddo. We can continue later, if your Mum’s okay with it?” She offered, this suggestion seemed to cheer Noah up, both of them turning to look at Charity for her approval. Charity seemed completely out of it, but nodded her consent, which appeased Noah for now. 

“Cool, I’ll come back later then!” He grinned, grabbing his bag, heading out of the room without another word. Vanessa turned to look at Charity, unsure how to approach her right now. Charity glanced at her briefly, before she turned to walk out of the room. 

“Hey.” Vanessa called out to her, stopping her momentarily. “Are you okay?” She asked. 

“Yeah, course babe, why wouldn’t I be?” Charity answered unconvincingly, before continuing out into the bar. Vanessa sighed, heading out into the bar too. 

Charity had hardly looked at her in the past hour, which really concerned Vanessa. She really hadn’t expected Charity to take offence to what she had said, she was only trying to reassure Noah. Nothing she had said was a lie, it is nice to flirt sometimes, and having someone flirt with Vanessa certainly wouldn’t lead to her wanting to storming off. 

Or, at least, that’s what she thought. 

Stupidly, she had decided to sit down in a booth with Rhona, who had chosen strange company for the evening. A woman was sat with Rhona, and she didn’t seem to understand what personal space was. Vanessa raised an eyebrow curiously at Rhona, who huffed in reply, clearly frustrated. 

“Hey, who’s your friend?” Vanessa questioned, smiling kindly. 

“This is Pete’s cousin, Gloria.” Rhona bit out, swatting away Gloria’s grabby hands. “She just turned up, Pete’s trying to find somewhere else for her to stay.” Rhona informed, glaring at the woman next to her. “She is clearly very comfortable with her sexuality, and thinks she knows everyone else’s too.” She said, her voice raising angrily. 

Vanessa frowned, not liking the sound of that. “Can’t you just call her a taxi?” Vanessa suggested, half heartedly. Rhona just tilted her head at Vanessa, the woman was clearly too drunk for them to just shove her into any taxi that would have her. 

“I have an idea!” Rhona started, tearing herself away from Gloria, before standing. “How about, I grab us some drinks, and you keep her company instead?” She said, practically running towards the bar, not even pausing for Vanessa to answer. She huffed to herself, that’s twice she’s had someone run away from her tonight. Not good for the ego. 

“Hey.” Vanessa greeted the woman opposite her, awkwardly. And that was all it took for the woman to stand on wobbly legs and plonk herself on Vanessa’s half of the booth. Vanessa shuffled away from her slightly, the smell of wine hitting her senses like a truck. 

“Hi.” Gloria said, grinning. She was pretty, Vanessa gave her that. She had dark brown hair, dimples and a sinfully tight dress on, but she was far too eager and it really put Vanessa off. 

Vanessa nodded awkwardly, before turning to look round at the bar where Rhona, Chas and Charity were all looking back at her. Rhona looked relieved to be rid of Gloria, Chas looked amused by the predicament and Charity looked… Well, she wasn’t giving very much away, apart from a small frown. Vanessa was forced to look back at Gloria when she literally started to stroke her neck. She wasn’t soft, though. She was far too drunk to have a steady hand, so she tugged at Vanessa, pulling her closer. 

Vanessa tried her best to keep herself away, she had no intention of kissing a drunk woman tonight. Or any night, obviously. She frowned, she couldn’t even keep her own thoughts in check, let alone look after this woman. 

She had her hands anywhere she could get them, and Vanessa just kept gently hitting away any advances, not interested in the slightest. Maybe she really was straight. Not that she had thought any different, of course.

Pete walked in to the pub, causing Vanessa to grin in relief. He headed straight over to the table, trying to coax her out of the booth, but she had set her sights on Vanessa now, and wasn’t giving up without a fight. Vanessa stood, silently begging the woman to leave the booth so she could make her great escape, but she had no such luck. The woman turned on her and tried to lean in to kiss her, but Vanessa turned away, so she only caught the side of her mouth. 

Pete tugged on her arm, and this time she moved, satisfied with her half-kiss. Vanessa let out a loud sigh, relief flooding her. The woman left the pub, and Rhona joined her once more. 

“Sorry, Ness. I just couldn’t spend another minute with her.” Rhona apologised, frowning guiltily. Vanessa was just about to reassure her that it was fine, she’d probably have done the same if it was her, when Charity appeared with a pint in hand, placing it down in front of Vanessa. 

“So you thought you’d dump her on Vanessa instead, knowing that she wouldn’t have the heart to tell the woman to do one? Wow, what a great friend you have there, babe.” Charity grit out angrily, refusing the money Vanessa offered. “It’s the least I can do after the ordeal you just went through, you need someone fighting your corner, after all.” She told her, glaring at Rhona while she spoke. She squeezed Vanessa’s shoulder before walking back to the bar, a sway in her step.

“Vanessa, what’s going on with you two?” Rhona asked, curiousity peaked by Charity’s odd behaviour. Vanessa just shook her head.

“I honestly have absolutely no idea, every conversation we have only confuses me more.” Vanessa admitted. Rhona frowned, taking a sip from Vanessa’s drink. 

“Oi! That wasn’t meant for you, traitor!” Charity yelled, causing Vanessa to laugh and shrug at Rhona’s perplexed look. She had no idea what was happening, but she kind of loved the attention Charity gave her. 

“Vanessa, it’s quiet in here now so I don’t need Charity anymore. She’s being a real grump anyway so you guys can call Noah back if you want?” Chas suggested, smiling over at her. She nodded with a smile, moving to stand. Rhona grabbed her hand before she could get too far. 

“Do you really think this thing with Charity is a good idea?” Rhona pried, concerned. 

“I don’t know, Rhona. But I’m going to see it through anyway.” Vanessa answered, defiantly. She stood up, moving behind the bar. She couldn’t see Charity, so she must have already made her way through.

Vanessa walked into the living room, closing the door behind her. She looked around for Charity but didn’t see her. “Charity?” She called out hesitantly. 

She heard a quiet “In here.” From inside the fort, so she made her way over, crawling in. 

“Hey, you okay?” Vanessa asked her, noticing that she had the same distant look she had the last time she was in there. 

“Me? Of course. How’re you, having had your first venture into the lesbian lifestyle?” Charity deflected, wiggling her eyebrows crudely, though the normal cheekiness was noticeably lacking. 

“Oh god, don’t get me started. What a nightmare.” Vanessa huffed, holding up her hands in mock surrender, shaking her head in exasperation.

“Oh come on, wasn’t there even a part of you that enjoyed it?” Charity pushed, though she looked down at the covers, pulling at loose bits of material, rather than looking at Vanessa. Vanessa scoffed at Charity.

“Charity, she was like a Koala and I was the poor defenceless tree.” Vanessa laughed, pushing Charity lightly on the arm. She looked back up at Vanessa then, laughing softly. Charity studied her face, a question on the tip of her tongue. Vanessa waited, knowing that prying would lead to her pulling away. 

“So, beautiful, huh?” Charity questioned, glancing back down at the blankets, rolling the material between her fingers in what Vanessa could only presume was a nervous habit. Vanessa blushed, glancing away. Her neck felt hot, the intensity of the conversation getting to her. “That’s a first for me, gotta say.” Charity continued, softly. Vanessa looked back at her in confusion. 

“What do you mean?” Vanessa asked. 

“Well… Beautiful. No one’s called me that before. I’ve had bitch, selfish and manipulative. But, never beautiful.” Charity confessed, sadly. Vanessa’s heart broke at the admission. 

“But, that’s crazy.” Vanessa said, simply. Genuinely not understanding how Charity had gone 44 years without someone calling her beautiful. 

“Not really.” Charity countered, dismissively. 

“Yes it is, it’s crazy. You’re attentive and thoughtful and anybody with eyes can see that you’re beautiful.” She watched Charity’s eyes shimmer, though no tears fell. Charity was too proud to show that kind of vulnerability. Vanessa sighed, sadly. “You said that my body had been robbed, but it’s clear that you’ve been robbed too.” Vanessa fumed, moving to stand. Charity looked panicked then, grabbing for her arm.

“Woah, stop, what’re you doing?” Charity asked, urging her to sit back down. Vanessa fought against her grip.

“I’m going to give Cain a piece of my mind!” Vanessa yelled, referring to Charity’s ex, moving with even more purpose having said it out loud, but Charity outright refused to let her go. 

“Sit down you crazy little firecracker, what chance do you have against Cain!” Charity reasoned, tugging on her arm. Vanessa huffed.

“I’m not going to fight him, Charity. I’m not stupid. I’m just going to call him every bad name under the sun, that’s all.” Vanessa shouted, frowning deeply when Charity grinned. “I’m serious!” She insisted. 

“I know you’re serious.” Charity chuckled, tugging once more on Vanessa’s arm, causing her to huff and sit back down, crossing her arms stubbornly. “You’re genuinely crazy.” Charity told her, smiling when Vanessa’s frown deepened. “But, it’s kind of cute that you’d go to those lengths for me. So, thanks, I guess.” Charity said sheepishly, tugging on the blankets like she’d done earlier. Definitely a nervous habit. Vanessa smiled softly at her, letting the anger she felt go, for now at least. 

The living room door opened and closed again, before Noah’s face appeared in the fort doorway, a grin on his face. 

“You took your time, little man!” Charity scolded, cheekily. He only smiled more, making Vanessa grin too.

“I got here as fast as I could, really, I did!” He pleaded. Charity and Vanessa both just chuckled at him. 

“Well hurry up kid, I’m excited to see if the raccoon ever did save the day!” Charity yelled out, sticking her foot out in an attempt to trip him up as he walked through the fort, but he was too fast, jumping over it with a laugh. 

“Mum, you clearly haven’t watched a single minute of this film.” Noah stated, while grabbing the DVD remote. 

Charity glanced over at Vanessa, just as Vanessa looked her way. Charity winked at her, a cocky looking grin making its way onto her face. 

“No, I haven’t.” She confirmed, looking at Vanessa with a smirk. 

Vanessa didn’t know she was tired until she had already fallen asleep. She woke up some time later, Noah snoring away closer to the TV, snuggled up in blankets. She let go of the pillow she was cuddled with, stretched her body and rubbed her eyes, looking to her side for Charity, but frowned when she realised that Charity wasn’t there.

She sat up, yawning. It took quite a bit of energy, but she managed to drag herself out of the fort, into the living room. She stretched once more, enjoying the relief of standing up straight. She turned around, coming face to face with a troubled looking Charity sat at her dining table, sipping from a glass. 

“Bit early for the hard stuff, no?” Vanessa joked, moving towards the table, tilting her head, smiling hesitantly. Charity looked up at her, allowing a small smile to appear on her face.

“It’s not early, it’s late.” Charity shot back with a cheeky grin. Vanessa couldn’t really argue with her logic.

“You should have woken me.” Vanessa told her, moving to sit down opposite her before she grabbed the glass out of her hand, taking a sip. It made her mouth burn, heating her throat up from the inside as she swallowed. 

“You looked so content, clinging to that pillow. I didn’t have the heart.” Charity teased, stealing back her glass. Vanessa looked down at the wooden table in embarrassment, tracing the lines to avoid looking at Charity. “I didn’t expect that from you, you know?” Charity confessed, causing Vanessa to look up in confusion. “I didn’t take you as a cuddler.” Charity elaborated.

“I think that’s one of the main things I miss about relationships.” Vanessa admitted. Smiling shyly at Charity, who stared back, listening intently. “I miss the safety of it, getting in to bed knowing there’s someone there to protect me.” Vanessa continued, looking back down at the table.

“You’re the last person I’d think would need protecting.” Charity stated, “Crazy little firecracker.” She mumbled with a grin, repeating her comment from earlier. Vanessa grinned over at her, ignoring the way her stomach flipped at the odd term of endearment. 

“Yeah, well, sometimes it’s nice to know I don’t have to be the strong one.” Vanessa told her. Charity stared at her, but it didn’t seem like she was actually looking at her, she seemed lost in thought. 

“I miss the hand holding.” Charity finally said, shocking Vanessa. She tried not to react to the confession, worried she’d scare Charity off. She must have succeeded, because Charity carried on, swishing her whiskey around in her glass absentmindedly. “Not that I got much of that in my past relationships.” She scoffed. “I always pick the tough, emotionless bastards, probably because it matches me.” She swigged from her glass. “I don’t even mean full on handholding, I just-“ She stopped herself, before looking up at Vanessa, contemplating something. “I like the thought of someone stroking my fingers, caressing me, not just holding me like they own me.” She spoke, softly.

Vanessa nodded in agreement, trying not to focus too much on what Charity had said, knowing that this kind of conversation could end at any moment, if she made the wrong move. 

“I miss having someone to make me a cuppa.” Vanessa told her, laughing softly. Charity nodded quickly, obviously agreeing. “And dinner.” She grinned, watching Charity’s smile match hers. “If I have to make one more meal, I’ll go insane.” She chuckled. Charity took a large mouthful of her drink, but this time the glass hid a large smile, so Vanessa felt like she had succeeded. 

“God, I miss kissing.” Charity told her with a sigh. Vanessa swallowed nervously, glancing down briefly at Charity’s lips, before glancing away, thankful that Charity was looking elsewhere. “Desperate, passionate kissing.” Charity whispered, looking down at her glass. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever really had that feeling.” Vanessa said. Charity looked over at her with a frown, silently asking her to continue. “I’ve never had a kiss so good that I felt like I never wanted it to end.” Vanessa revealed, ashamed. 

Charity looked away with a scowl, confusing Vanessa. “You’re not very good at picking them, are you?” She muttered, Vanessa simply shrugged, not sure what else to say. It was silent for a while, both lost in thought. “What’s your ideal kiss, then?” Charity asked, sipping her drink. Vanessa paused, thinking about it. 

“Soft. So soft that it seems too soft. And slow. I’d want it to be so tender that it made my stomach flip and the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I’d want to take my time, no rushing. I’d want hands stroking my neck, pulling me closer. I’d want it to be the perfect combination of urgency and patience.” Vanessa muttered, licking her lips. 

“How do you balance that?” Charity asked, curiously. Vanessa chanced a quick look at her, before looking at the wall behind her. 

“Well, I’d want the kiss to be needy, without feeling like it had to progress right then and there. I want to be able to take advantage of the moment before it had to become anything else. I’d want to-“ Vanessa hesitated, battling with herself as to whether she should be admitting so much. “I’d like to take in the sensations of lips and tongues and teeth without grabby hands hoping to have their way with me before I’m actually ready.” Vanessa finished, shyly. Charity nodded gently.

“Can I tell you something?” Charity asked, startling Vanessa. Normally she’d just say what she wanted to say, consequences be damned. 

“Sure.” Vanessa encouraged.

“I don’t want to cross the line or anything, but…” Charity started. She paused, sighing loudly, before placing her glass down on the table a bit too forcefully. “Damn it, Vanessa, every time you tell me about how shitty your past relationships were, I get so angry.” She stated with a deep frown. Vanessa’s eyes shoot up at the admission. “I know, it’s not my place. And, I know Johnny is the best thing that ever happened to you, I know you don’t regret anything, but…” Charity stopped, trying to think through her words before they actually came out of her mouth. It perplexed Vanessa; it was exactly the opposite of the Dingle way. “You deserved so much better.” Charity said, leaning forward ever so slightly in her chair, sounding 100% genuine. 

Vanessa felt her eyes well up at the softness of Charity’s voice and the undeniably gentle look she was giving her. She sat up straighter, clearing her throat in an attempt to get rid of the lump forming in her throat. Charity smiled sadly at her as Vanessa quickly brushed away her own tears before they fell. 

“You know what I don’t miss?” Vanessa tried, chuckling to silence a sob, desperately trying to pull herself together. Charity gave her a small smile of encouragement, reaching for her drink again. “I don’t miss walking into the bathroom just to choke on a cloud of deodorant.” Vanessa laughed, smiling brighter when Charity chuckled while nodding. “Seriously, it’s like they spray everywhere but the one place they’re actually meant to spray.” She exclaimed, enjoying how Charity’s eyes lit up when she grinned. 

“And they leave their pants everywhere!” Charity joined it.

“And they are useless when I ask them if they like my outfits!” Vanessa persisted, enjoying how easily the conversation flowed.

Charity laughed before she sat up straighter, puffing out her chest, putting on a deep voice. “Babe, that one’s fine, can we just go, the boys are waiting.” She imitated, causing Vanessa to cover her mouth to suppress her laughter, remembering that Noah was asleep in the fort next to them.

“That’s bang on, that is.” She laughed. Their laughter eventually faded into soft chuckles and then silence, but their smiles stayed in place. Vanessa eventually looked up at the clock, sighing. “I should go, it’s really late.” 

Charity went back to swishing her drink around in the glass, glancing up at Vanessa every now and then. “You could stay, you know?” Charity offered, “The fort is basically a massive bed, it’s comfy as heck and Noah would be chuffed to wake up with you here.” Vanessa contemplated it, weighing out the good and the bad of it. “I’ll stay down here too, so you don’t feel awkward in the morning, it’ll just be like a good ole’ sleepover.” Charity rambled, suddenly sounding nervous. Vanessa bit her lip. “Unless you want to be in your own bed, which makes sense-“ Charity started to backtrack, before Vanessa cut in.

“What’s a movie day without a sleepover?” Vanessa said, with a small smirk. Charity smiled right back at her, before they both got up and made their way back into the fort. It took a while, with a lot of shuffling about and suppressed language. Once they were both comfy, they laid there, staring straight up.

“Night, Ness.” Charity spoke, softly. 

“Night, Charity.”Vanessa replied, just as softly. 

Charity was right, Vanessa had really earned some points with Noah by staying over, but it had also earned her some questions from Rhona and Paddy, both of them feeling concerned about the consequences of Vanessa’s new friendship. They had a lot of nerve slating Charity’s name on a bench that Charity owns, drinking the alcohol that Charity owns, outside the pub that Charity owns.

“She wants something, she always does.” Paddy told her, firmly. Vanessa rolled her eyes, frustrated with this conversation. 

“Come on, Ness. Paddy’s got a point, it is Charity.” Rhona agreed, siding with Paddy. Vanessa groaned out loud.

“You just don’t know her, alright? Contrary to popular belief, Charity is not as tough or as mean as she makes out.” Vanessa insisted, crossing her arms. 

“Why’re you suddenly the leader of the ‘Charity Is Misunderstood’ club?” Debbie called out, walking over to the trio, eavesdropping. 

“I’m sorry Debbie, but we’re trying to tell Vanessa that Charity clearly has an ulterior motive under this whole best friends act.” Rhona told Debbie, Charity’s daughter, bluntly. Vanessa thought her eyes were going to bulge out of her face, shocked that Rhona would admit that to Charity’s daughter of all people. 

“yeah, I hate to break it to you, but Mum has never done anything selflessly. Chances are that she’s gaining something out of it.” Debbie told Vanessa. It made Vanessa fume to know that her kids could walk into such a horrible conversation about their Mum and agree, rather than fight her corner. 

“Have any of you thought that maybe she just wants a friend? That maybe she is sick of keeping the same, hateful company she’s used to? That maybe she wanted to be around someone who wasn’t going to question her motives the whole time?” Vanessa fumed, gritting her teeth as she spoke. 

“And you think that person is you? Listen, if there’s nothing she can use you for, you’re not going to last. A week, maybe two, tops. You’re not special, Vanessa. Right now, you’re just at the top of a long list of potential’s that she can eventually bleed dry.” Debbie stated, angrily. Charity obviously wasn’t in her good books right now. 

“You’re wrong, the lot of you. I’ve had enough of this conversation.” Vanessa said, standing up from the bench, before striding into the pub. 

“Woah, where’s the fire?” Charity called out to her, frowning when she jumped aggressively onto a stool at the bar. 

“Nowhere.” Vanessa bit out, hardly suppressing her rage. 

The door to the bar swung open behind Vanessa, she heard angry footsteps approach, before she heard someone else throw themselves into the chair next to her. She glanced up to see Noah frowning deeply. 

“Hey, you look angry.” Vanessa observed. Noah turned to look back at her, before turning to look down at the bar. 

“You do, too.” He acknowledged. She simply nodded to herself. Touché. 

“Well aren’t you both a cheery sight.” Charity approached, smirking slightly. 

“I’m not in the mood.” Noah grunted, his frown deepening. Charity looked at him in concern, before turning to her. 

“What’s wrong with you, then?” She probed, leaning forward slightly, giving her the privacy to speak, but what was she supposed to say? ‘Oh, I’m angry with my friends and your family for constantly judging you as a person’. No way. 

“Nothing.” Vanessa stated, avoiding Charity’s eye. Charity pulled back, nodding slightly while frowning deeply. She walked to the other end of the bar, serving customers, refusing to look Vanessa’s way. Vanessa sighed irritably. 

Vanessa looked back over at Noah, realising just how troubled he looked in that moment. His shoulders were tense, he set his jaw and his eyes looked like they were starting to water. 

“Hey, Noah?” Vanessa called, gently. He looked over at her, raising an eyebrow in question. “I think I know just the thing to cheer you up.” She smiled, slightly. His frowned lessened slightly, but not by much. His interest had certainly been peaked, though. 

“What’s that?” He asked her, quietly, playing with a beer mat absentmindedly. 

Vanessa grinned. 

“Follow me.”

Vanessa led Noah right into her back garden, to a neat looking shed. Nothing special about it, just a wooden box with a roof. 

“You know, if you’re about to kill me, there’s a lot of witnesses that saw me leave with you.” Noah joked, his mood having lifted slightly on their short walk. Vanessa rolled her eyes.

“You sure are Charity’s boy.” Vanessa replied, sarcastically. She knelt down, reaching into a box next to the shed, pulling out some boots, cloaks and protective eye goggles. Noah frowned. 

“Okay, I was joking about you killing me before, but now I’m sorta concerned.” He admitted, his frown deepening. 

“Oh give over, you dummy.” Vanessa laughed, handing him the boots, first. When he hesitated, she nudged him slightly. He started to raise his eyebrows, getting her to scoff in frustration. 

“Stop being a baby and put on the boots, you’re going to love this, I promise.” Vanessa assured him, before putting her own boots, cloak and goggles on. He sighed, before following suit. 

He looked a little ridiculous, the cloak was far too big for him, and the goggles sat wonkily on his face. He was grinning in confusion though, so he obviously wasn’t mad at her for it. She pushed open the shed, grinning over at him in excitement. He stepped inside, his frown disappearing. 

The inside of the shed was the complete opposite of the outside, it was completely splattered with colour, on every side. Vanessa approached a tall cabinet at the back of the shed, opening it and pulling out an extremely large piece of white card, before walking over to one end of the shed, clipping the piece of card onto the wall by a built in clip. She then did the same thing, but on the other end of the wall. She looked over at him, checking to see if he’d caught on to her plan. His grin made her smile. 

She started to grab a bunch of tins from the corner of the room, one by one, before opening all of their lids, revealing an abundance of beautiful, bright paint colours. She grabbed spoons and paint brushes and scrapers, before throwing those on the floor by the paint, then she looked back at Noah. He looked straight back at her, waiting for her go-ahead. She grinned, nodding. That’s all it took. 

Suddenly Noah was getting spoonfuls of green paint and lobbing it aggressively at the wall, splatting against the white card. Then she did the same with blue, and yellow, and red. He grabbed a paint brush, dipping it messily into the tin, before flicking It at the card. Then he threw caution to the wind completely, grabbing handfuls of pink and orange and purple. He threw the paint at the wall, looking absolutely elated. Vanessa was chuffed to see that his bad mood had shifted completely, replaced by a childlike laughter she hardly ever heard from him. 

She took a moment, bravely deciding to take her phone out from the safety of her pocket, snatching a couple of photos of him, mid throw, to show Charity later. She tucked her phone back away just as quickly as she had taken it out, glad that no paint had hit it in the process. 

“This is amazing!” Noah exclaimed in delight, continuing to throw paint around. Vanessa hummed in agreement, beginning her own painting, with less urgency than him. “Hey, why were you sad earlier?” He asked. Vanessa hesitated, unsure how much she should reveal. “I’ll tell you why I was if you tell me why you was?” He bribed, and she decided that that was a fair enough deal. 

“Don’t you get sick of people saying bad things about your Mum?” Vanessa asked him. He paused to think, before he continued his assault on the piece of card. 

“She gives it to them to say.” He answered, sadness in his voice. Vanessa didn’t like that response. 

“That doesn’t mean they should say it.” Vanessa countered, defiantly. Noah sighed, softly. 

“Look, course I don’t like it when people have stuff to say, but she makes it so easy for them to say it. And I can’t back her up against the truth, can I?” He argued, though she could tell that his anger was not aimed at her. 

“Do you really think it’s all true?” Vanessa asked him, throwing some paint on her card with a bit more force than before. 

“Why wouldn’t it be?” He replied, sadly. 

“Noah, your Mum… She’s foolish, and stubborn and sometimes she can be a downright cow, but… I think she’s a great Mum, I think she just needs a push sometimes, like everyone does.” Vanessa told him, confidently. She looked over at her piece of card, before taking a leaf out of Noah’s book, grabbing a handful and chucking it over at the wall. It made her turn to look at him with a grin, which he returned. 

“I know what people are saying about you.” Noah confessed, looking down at his hands, sadly. Vanessa frowned, she hadn’t expected that. “It worries me too, you know? That she’ll mess this up.” Noah said, looking over at Vanessa fearfully. Vanessa sighed. 

“Noah.” She started, softly. He hummed quietly in acknowledgement. “The thing with your Mum is that she can’t help but push people away.” She commented, looking at the sadness creeping into his eyes. “But, you wanna know the good thing?” Vanessa persevered, a small smile appearing on her face. Noah looked at her in confusion, so she pressed on. “The good thing is that I know she pushes people away, so I already have the upper hand, okay?” 

“What do you mean?” Noah asked.

“Well, when she tries to push me away, I’ll know it for what it is, so I won’t take the bait. I won’t leave.” Vanessa reassured him, with a grin. He still looked unsure. 

“Is that a promise?” He asked her. 

“That’s a promise.” She confirmed. 

He nodded slowly, before turning back round to his painting, flicking red onto it with his paintbrush. 

“Hey, don’t think I haven’t forgotten our deal.” Vanessa teases him with a laugh. He sighs slightly, but he’s smiling while he does it. 

“If I tell you, can it stay between us?” He asked, and Vanessa paused, unsure whether this was a promise she could keep. 

“It can, unless you’re in danger, or something.” Vanessa said, fairly. He nodded in agreement. 

“There’s this girl…” He trailed off, and Vanessa panicked, she didn’t expect him to come to her for relationship advice. 

“Right?” She encouraged, though she looked back at her painting with a grimace, concern eating away at her. 

“I don’t know how to talk to her.” He stated, embarrassed. Vanessa paused, waiting for him to continue, but he didn’t. She frowned, unsure how to lead this conversation, but she can’t just ignore him, so she decided to dive straight in. 

“You know, most of the time, girls just want a guy who is understanding. A guy who is happy to listen to their fears and laugh with them. And contrary to popular belief, playing it cool definitely does not work. If you treat her mean to keep her keen, you’ll just push her away.” She told him, honestly.

“Oh.” He said, shamefully. Vanessa smiled to herself, sadly. 

“Did you try to treat her mean to keep her keen, Noah?” Vanessa asked, grimacing when he nodded in answer. “Oh, you’re a Dingle, alright.” Vanessa muttered quietly. Noah huffed, irritably. 

“Listen kid, you just gotta backtrack, that’s all. Next time you see her, be the Noah I know, not the Noah you think she’ll want.” She told him, seriously. He nodded in determination, standing up straighter as if he was giving himself a private pep talk. It made her smile, knowing that she had helped. 

“Hey, Vanessa?” He called out, though he faced his wall, throwing spoonfuls of paint as he spoke. She hummed at him, curiously. “Thanks.” He said, quietly. 

“Anytime, Noah.” She said, truthfully. “And hey, anytime you feel stressed out, you can come here, okay? As long as you put the lids back on the paints after and wash up the equipment and the outfits with the hose outside, okay?” She told him. 

“Really? You’d trust me with that?” He asked, a look of complete surprise and excitement on his face. 

“I know you’re a good kid, Noah. Of course, I trust you.” Vanessa said. 

“I won’t let you down.” He muttered, softly. Though Vanessa believed every word of it. 

Charity didn’t look impressed when they both walked in hours later, after leaving without so much as a goodbye. At least Vanessa and Noah both had the decency to look apologetic. 

“There you are, you little ratbag.” Charity said to Noah, with a scowl. “And you, too.” She aimed at Vanessa, who looked away awkwardly. “What have you both been up to?” She asked, before she squinted, pushing herself up against the bar, leaning forward to look at Noah, before glancing at Vanessa. “And what is all that stuff on your faces?” She muttered in confusion. When neither of the two answered her, she huffed. “Chas! I’m going on my break!” She called out to Chas, who was talking to a couple in a booth in the corner, before moving towards the back door. “Come with me, Mr.” She told Noah, who trailed behind her. Vanessa went to sit at the bar, hoping for a pint, but Charity had other ideas. “Excuse me, what do you think you’re doing?” She questioned her, raising her eyebrows. 

Vanessa looked at Charity, before looking at the bar, and then back at Charity. “I was hoping to get a drink?” 

“No, drinks later, for now you can come in here and explain why you both disappeared off only to return looking like gay Dalmatians.” Charity told her before storming off into the back, Vanessa sighed before following after her. 

“Mum, don’t be mad.” Noah pleaded, quietly. Vanessa nodded in agreement, though chose not to speak. Charity sighed at them both, before she moved to the sink to grab a bowl. She filled it up with warm water and soap, before grabbing a tea towel. She motioned for Noah to sit at the table, which he did without complaint. Gently, she started to wipe away all the colourful splotches on his skin. 

“I’m not mad. Please, just tell me.” She asked, softer this time. 

He looked in Vanessa’s direction, before he sighed. 

“I was sad, and Vanessa was sad, but she had a great idea to make us not sad.” He said, and he started to smile at the thought of it. His smile was infectious, because Charity started to smile, despite how stern she was trying to be. Vanessa shifted from one foot to the other, suddenly feeling very shy.

“And what was this amazing idea?” Charity asked, holding Noah’s chin while she scrubbed at a piece of red paint on his cheek. Noah started to grin, trying to turn to look at Vanessa, but Charity held him in place.

“It’s our secret.” He said. Vanessa’s lips turned up at the comment, touched that he thought of it as their thing. “But, maybe…” He started, hesitating. Charity looked up at him, as he paused. 

“What?” She asked, impatiently. Noah fought against her grip, turning in his chair to fully face a very confused Vanessa. 

“Maybe, one day, we could show her? Not now, it can be our thing for now, but when we know she needs it, we could take her?” He asked Vanessa, mindful of the fact that it is her safe space, and ultimately her decision. 

“I think that’s a good idea, kiddo.” Vanessa replied, beaming. 

“So I don’t get to find out yet?” Charity asked, scrubbing the last of the muck on his face. “I’m expected to just clean up all this mess and let it go?” She continued, placing the towel down, frowning as he jumped out of the chair. 

“Yeah, pretty much.” He replied, cheekily. He managed to dodge the hand that swung for him jokingly, laughing as he ran out of the room and up the stairs. Charity shook her head, but she smiled warmly, too. She looked over at Vanessa, who stood awkwardly a couple of feet away from the table. 

“Come here.” Charity insisted with a smile, dipping the towel in the water once more. Vanessa’s eyes widened, comically.

“Oh no, you’re alright, I can just grab a shower at home.” She laughed, nervously. She started to step backwards, in an attempt to make a quick escape. 

“And walk across the street looking like that? I don’t think so. And anyway, we’re not done talking yet.” She said, gesturing for her to come and take a seat. 

Vanessa walked over, begrudgingly. She sat down in the seat with a soft huff, readying herself for a good telling off. 

But, like always, Charity shocked her. 

She nudged her seat closer to Vanessa’s, squeezing the towel to get rid of the excess water, before she leant forward. 

Vanessa held her breath. 

Charity lifted her hand and placed it softly on Vanessa’s neck, tugging her closer ever so gently so she could reach her better. She lifted the towel up to her face and started to wipe at the paint spots. Charity’s hand rested so delicately on her skin that she felt an unbearably strong urge to cry. Charity wasn’t looking at her, too focussed on scrubbing her skin, so she took that time to look at her. She looked really shy, like she was doing something forbidden. Her eyebrows twitched like she was concentrating really hard on something and her jaw kept tensing. Vanessa could see every pore, every freckle and every scar. And, she observed every detail. 

Charity would adjust the hand on her neck, every now and then. She used her thumb to coax Vanessa into moving whichever way she needed her to face so that she could get to each spot, but every move she made was attentive and thoughtful and exactly the opposite of anything Vanessa would have expected from her. They didn’t talk, which Vanessa was eternally grateful for, because she didn’t think she could manage it. 

Charity placed her thumb on Vanessa’s chin, tilting her to face upwards, before she started to scrub a spot on the column of her throat. Vanessa gulped nervously, before realising how stupid that was. She looked away, at anything else, but still noticed Charity glance up at her at the action. 

“I want to thank you.” Charity said, quietly. Vanessa looked at her momentarily, before looking away again. “Noah has been so happy recently, and I’d love to say it’s all because of me, but we both know it’s because of you.” She told her, honestly. Her fingers twitched against the back of Vanessa’s neck and it took every single ounce of concentration in her body to not react to the movement. “I’m a lot happier, too.” She confessed. Vanessa’s eyes shot to hers in shock.

Charity’s fingers moved, stroking the skin at the back of her neck, it was only a slight movement, but it was entirely noticed. Vanessa couldn’t seem to focus on anything else. If she was honest, it was making her panic, big time. 

“I like to scheme, we all know that. Even this, with you, was for my own gain.” Charity confessed, but the words made something inside Vanessa pang with worry. She suddenly remembered what Debbie had said, and Noah. 

“What?” Vanessa probed, uneasily. 

“What?” Charity repeated, confused. 

“What do you mean this was for your own gain?” Vanessa pushed, her tone changing slightly. Charity seemed to sense the shift in mood, because the fingers around Vanessa’s throat started to play with the small hairs on the back of her neck, soothingly. But Vanessa was panicking, and she didn’t know how to stop. 

“I just- Babe, we are unlikely friends, we both know that.” She laughed, nervously. Everything about this situation was starting to set off Vanessa’s warning bells. “You were good with Noah, and I saw an opportunity.” Charity explained, seemingly missing the warning signs telling her to stop talking, right now. 

Vanessa stood suddenly, ripping her body away from Charity’s soft touches and thoughtless words. Charity seemed to panic at the action, standing up, a look of dread on her face. “I didn’t-“ 

“So, I’m just convenient?” Vanessa asked, backing away from the table. Charity’s eyes flooded with worry, her movements becoming slightly frantic as she moved forward, towards Vanessa. 

“Babe, only at first-“ She tried to reassure, but it was exactly the opposite of what Vanessa needed to hear in that moment. She turned on her heel, heading for the door. “Ness, don’t go.” Charity begged her, softly. Vanessa’s brain was on overdrive, repeating Debbie’s words, but in Charity’s voice. It made her feel sick. She glanced back at Charity. She looked absolutely desperate to fix what she had done, to take back what she had said. But as soon as the first tear fell down Vanessa’s face, she ran. 

She realised that she might have overreacted. At the time she didn’t think to consider that some of that argument stemmed from the fact that Vanessa was very definitely having a gay panic. But then Charity got word vomit, and said every bad thing she could have said.

But Vanessa ran. 

The one thing she said she wouldn’t do. She promised Noah and she broke it. 

So, when it rolled back around to their weekly visit, Vanessa forced herself to walk through the pub, into the back. The first thing she saw, was the fort. She half expected Charity to have cleared the whole thing up, considering the fact that, from the outside, it was a huge eyesore. 

She smiled softly at it. She’d formed some kind of emotional attachment to it, what with all of the little memories she had made with both Charity and Noah in it. 

Speaking of the duo, she looked around briefly for them, but neither of them were around. She smiled, they were probably in the fort already. She removed her coat, and placed her bag down, before heading over to the makeshift door they’d created. She knelt down and whipped open the door, dread filling her whole body the moment she did. 

She had succeeded in finding Charity. Half dressed Charity. With a guest. A male, half naked guest. In their fort.

She felt her insides curl up, her heart shrivel and her chest flutter uncomfortably at the sight. Every pang in her chest felt like a tsunami wave, crashing against her ribcage, flipping her stomach, tearing her insides to shreds. 

Charity looked over at the door, catching sight of her, before she jumped up, covering herself with a blanket. The man she was with smirked at Vanessa. “You here to join, love? The more the merrier.” He leered, flexing his muscles. 

Vanessa was certain she was about to throw up. 

Charity shoved him aggressively as she moved towards Vanessa, which was most definitely Vanessa’s cue to get the heck out of there. 

“Ness! Ness, wait!” Charity called out, stumbling over herself, clinging to the blanket around her. Every time Vanessa looked, she remembered the reason Charity had the blanket around her, fuelling her nausea. 

“Please, don’t let me stop you!” Vanessa stated shakily, making a beeline for the door. 

“Vanessa, what are you doing here?” Charity finally asked, following her until they got to the door, where she grabbed Vanessa’s arm softly, willing her not to leave.

“It’s our day! No matter what’s happened, it’s our day! Noah’s day! So, I- I came, and I planned on apologising, for- for leaving the other day. I planned on explaining, and- I don’t know!” She rambled, tears shining in her eyes, a heap of emotions beginning to clog her throat up. 

“I… I didn’t think you’d come.” Charity told her, lamely. She tugged the covers around her tighter, looking ashamed. 

“It’s our day. Or, it was.” Vanessa said, brokenly. “Just like that’s our fort. Or, it was.” She continued, choking on a sob. “And just like this is my most favourite place to be. Or… It was.” Vanessa whispered, crying openly. She noticed the shimmer in Charity’s eyes too, but she couldn’t feel sorry for her, not when her heart ached more than it ever had before.

She turned to leave, tears streaming down her face, but instead she came face to face with Noah. He smiled brightly. “I knew you’d come! Mum said you wouldn’t but- wait, why’re you crying?” He asked, his voice rising an octave, panicking. 

Vanessa watched the way his eyes travelled from her tear streaked face, to Charity and the towel wrapped around her, before he caught sight of the man leaning his head out of the fort, cockily. His eyebrows pulled together into a deep, angry frown. He turned to Charity, rage settling in his eyes. 

“I knew it! I knew you’d ruin it! Vanessa is the best thing that ever happened to this family, she argued with Debbie for you, she stayed during our bad days for you, she fought for you! And you’ve ruined it, like you ruin everything!” He yelled, his tears falling too. It was all too much. Vanessa couldn’t be here anymore, she had to go. So she did. 

If she's honest, she kind of expected it to be Noah who looked for her, or Rhona. Even Chas seemed to make a bit more sense. 

The last person she expected to approach her, while she pushed her son on the swings, was Debbie. 

She heard the footsteps stop a meter or so away from her. Stupidly, her heart jumped at the idea that it may have been Charity. 

“She won’t come out of that stupid fort.” Debbie stated, facing the same direction as Vanessa, with her arms crossed. Vanessa’s eyes pinched closed helplessly, begging for the images of Charity and that guy to leave her mind. “Its been days. She refuses to work, though that's not much of a surprise...” Debbie trailed off, huffing when Vanessa simply continued to much Johnny on the swings. “I have no idea what's going on, Vanessa.” Debbie sighed with frustration. “My Mum is a mess. You’re so... Vanilla-“ Debbie stated, honestly. She stopped quickly when Vanessa turned to look at her, anger on her face. “Vanilla's good! Good for Mum, at least. She needs some calm in her life.” That allowed Vanessa to relax slightly. 

“Look, I don't get it, I don't think anyone does, but whatever you guys were up to, it worked. Mum has been different the last couple of weeks, she's so much better with Noah, who is a joy to be with, by the way.” Debbie told her, smiling slightly. Vanessa smiled back. “I really don't know what you did there, but that boy is completely different, and so much happier. And so is Mum, so whatever she did to mess it up, please talk to her about it, and let her fix it.” Debbie begged, but Vanessa turned away, frowning. 

“I think you were right, the other day. She uses people.” Vanessa admitted, pushing the swing sadly. Johnny laughed in delight, making her smile slightly. 

“Yeah, she does, I won’t lie...” Debbie started, eyebrows pulled together in concentration. “But, I just don’t see what she could have used you for, Vanessa.” Debbie told her, and it made Vanessa angry. She turned to look at her.

“I’m not as useless as you all make me out to be, you know?” Vanessa shot out, waving one of her arms around in irritation while the other continued to push Johnny. “She wanted my help with Noah, to help them bond. She told me that herself.” Vanessa bit out, “Vanilla.” She said, with air quotes. “You mean boring. Noah thought I was cool, Noah loved my company.” Vanessa told her, defiantly.

“And so did Mum! Look, I don’t want to stroke your ego or anything, but she’s never hibernated out of sadness, Vanessa! She’s like a pathetic, heartbroken teenager right now!” Debbie yelled, causing Vanessa's eyes to widen, looking around them in embarrassment. “it's up to you, right? Do what you want, but she clearly misses you, and you’re clearly not doing too great either, so just sort it, yeah? You took anyone on who dared slate her for a reason, so remember the reason.” Debbie said with irritation, before walking away. 

Vanessa frowned, looking down at her son. She bit her lip in thought, her nerves shot to hell.

***

She felt quite sheepish, walking into the Woolpack. She quickly caught on to the fact that other people were watching her, excited at the prospect of an argument. She rolled her eyes, before plonking herself down on a stool by the bar, close to the exit. 

Chas approached her wearily, offering a small smile.

“Pint, please.” Vanessa asked, sighing. Chas only nodded, walking off to grab a pint. Vanessa looked over towards the opposite end of the bar, meeting Noah’s eye. She hesitated, before smiling and lifting her hand up for a small wave. Noah lifted his hand too, his eyes brightening slightly, before he jumped up and walked in to the back. Vanessa sighed, so much for reconciling with him. She really had let him down.

Chas suddenly looked towards the door, but Vanessa couldn’t see who was calling her. She frowned, before whispering out a response. The person at the door whispered too, before Chas glanced over at Vanessa. She smiled awkwardly, lifting her finger up to tell Vanessa she’d be a moment, before she walked out the back. 

Vanessa drummed her hands on the bar, willing her mind to just stop thinking for ten minutes. Since Debbie had stormed off Vanessa felt an immense pressure to fix everything, while also battling with the part of her that really did not want to talk to Charity, who clearly had absolutely no sentimental value towards anything. It made her so angry; they may have been arguing, but she had taken what was a self confessed safe space, and filled it with negativity. A place for her own gain. A place for... That. 

She put her head in her hands, remembering all the small conversations they had shared in that stupid fort. She felt so foolish for building it all up in her mind, for making such a big deal out of something that clearly Charity didn’t feel the same about. 

She heard someone sit next to her, so she lifted her head up to acknowledge them, coming face to face with Cain. Fantastic. She glared over at him, before turning away, looking for Chas again. Cain huffed her way, before resting his forearms on the bar. 

“She told you too, then?” He accused, scoffing when Vanessa looked at him in disinterest, “Don’t act dumb, everyone knows about your weird little friendship, I bet Charity loves having another person to spread her poison with.” He turned to look at the front door as it opened, so Vanessa turned too, just in time to see Moira walk in and make heated eye contact with Cain. 

“She’s pretty pissed.” Vanessa acknowledged, quietly. 

“Yeah, well, your partner’s don’t take it well when you make out with your ex.” He gritted out with a scowl. Vanessa snapped her neck round to look at him in shock. “What?” he asked. 

“Charity?” She whispered, quietly.

“Who else?” he answered. She lifted her hands up to her eyes, rubbing them in frustration. It’s stupid. It’s ridiculous. It’s jealousy. Complete jealousy. She’s so jealous. And then she’s angry, because she has absolutely no right to be. She felt stupid for thinking Charity was here, upset over Vanessa, when it was clear that she was actually upset about Cain.

Noah walked back in, followed by Chas. They look Vanessa’s way, before they notice who she’s sat with. Chas looked panicked, spinning on the spot and moving towards the door. It’s too late though, because Charity is suddenly in the doorway, searching the room desperately, before making eye contact with Vanessa. She looks like she’s about to move forward, before she also notices Cain. 

“You’ve got a lot of nerve.” Moira shouted, moving towards the bar. Chas stepped forward, in front of Charity. 

“If it’s an argument you’re after, I won’t have it. Either I pour you a drink, or you leave.” Chas stated, shortly. Moira looked like she might challenge her, but thought better of it. 

“Like I’d want to breathe the same air as her.” She said instead, heading back towards the front door, before turning back once more. “You can have him, I’m done.” She told Charity, before leaving. 

Cain glared at Charity, before leaving too. 

The room got real quiet, apart from a few hushed whispers. 

Chas finally brought Vanessa her beer, moving to take the money Vanessa offered, but charity stopped her before she could. 

“This one’s on me.” She told her. She went to smile at Vanessa, but it came out more like a grimace. 

“I can pay for my own, Charity.” Vanessa informed, voice dripping with irritation. Charity seemed to blanch at the tone, hesitating.

“I know that, I wanted to. Felt I owed you that much.” She shrugged, leaning on the bar, playing with a bar mat. Vanessa sighed, defeated.

“You owe me nothing, Charity.” Vanessa said, and it immediately made Charity tense. 

“Look, can we-“ she started, but a rowdy customer called her name, demanding a drink. She growled under her breath, cursing Chas for disappearing, before looking up at Vanessa. “We need to talk, please don’t go, I’ll be back in a minute.” She waited for Vanessa to nod, before she walked over to the man. 

“I'm glad our chat helped, earlier.” Debbie said, sitting next to her. Vanessa huffed, sick of all the company. “Is everything sorted now?” Debbie asked, smiling. 

“There’s nothing to fix, Debbie. And next time, get the facts right before you spin me a load of crap about her missing me.” Vanessa bit out, quietly. 

“Woah, what’re you talking about?” Debbie frowned, throwing her hands up in defence. 

“She was upset about Cain, not me. And I’m the idiot coming here trying to fix something that doesn’t even exist.” Vanessa told her, whispering out the last sentence.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Debbie questioned, looking over at Vanessa. Vanessa hesitated, feeling stupid for saying too much. 

“I won’t make a mug of myself, for everyone else’s entertainment.” She spoke, defiantly. Vanessa grabbed her beer, before moving away from the bar and over to a booth, where Rhona and Pete were sat. They looked over at her in confusion. 

“Any conversation about Charity is off limits.” Vanessa bit out, leaving no room for argument. They both nodded, taking a sip from their drinks, looking around the room to avoid the fuming blonde in front of them. 

“Ness?” Charity asked, next to her. Vanessa groaned in frustration. 

“There’s nothing to talk about, Charity. You did nothing wrong, you can sleep with whoever you want, it really isn’t any of my business. I’m sorry for storming out on you, but it seemed inappropriate to stay when the man was literally in our- the fort, waiting for you.” Vanessa ranted, silently cursing herself for stuttering over the fort being theirs. Charity looked gutted, which made Vanessa’s heart sink. Her heart was thumping angrily in her chest, begging her to give this friendship a second chance, but her mind told her to keep Charity at arm’s length, especially considering her newfound feelings for the woman, so she figured that was the smartest way to play this. 

“Ness, please?” Charity begged, but Vanessa just wasn’t sure what it was she was begging for.

Rhona and Pete looked extremely uncomfortable, and Vanessa was moments from sprinting out of there. Noah must have sensed that, because he appeared behind Charity, smiling sadly. 

“Can you come watch a movie? We didn’t get our day this week.” He asked, and she wanted to scream in protest, but she couldn’t say no to him, not after running out on him before, despite promising that she wouldn’t. And his voice was so sad, she couldn’t bare it.

She didn’t speak, she just stood, looking over at him with a small smile. He grinned, heading round the back of the bar. She moved to follow him, but Charity tugged on her sleeve. She looked up, but she wished she hadn’t. 

The look in Charity's eyes made her stomach flip, she looked broken, her eyes were shimmering, and her frown was absolutely killing Vanessa.

“Did Cain tell you-“ she started to ask, but Vanessa cut her off. 

“Like I said Charity, none of my business.” Vanessa huffed, moving to follow Noah, but Charity chased every movement, tugging again to keep her from going far. 

“But it is your business!” She whispered frantically, her voice sounding desperate. 

“Why?” Vanessa challenged. She watched Charity hesitate, struggling to find the words to explain.

“Because you’re my friend, I want to tell you these things.” 

Vanessa should have been happy with that. Ecstatic, even. It isn’t often that Charity opens herself up for embarrassment, and that was a big declaration for her, but it wasn’t the declaration Vanessa realised that she wanted to hear. The pang in her chest stopped her from replying. She pushed past Charity and through the back. 

The fort made her feel queasy, she couldn’t lie. But she couldn’t really say anything, so she crawled in without complaint. She hat up, pulled her legs in and wrapped her arms around them, like a ball. A sad, closed off ball.

Charity started to climb in, but she stopped, her head poking in while the rest of her stayed outside the fort.

“Am I invited?” she asked, softly. 

Noah laughed, before turning round to look at her, “Course!” he told her, before pressing play on whatever movie he had picked for the night. 

Charity moved to sit next to Vanessa. The gap was much bigger than they were used to, yet still seemed to feel too close for comfort. 

“Your plan worked. Congrats.” Vanessa said, but the bitterness in her voice was ugly even to her own ears. She scrunched her eyes up in frustration. “Sorry.” She said, after. 

“I deserved that.” She replied, sadly. There was absolutely no fight in her voice, and it made Vanessa feel sick. Everything felt wrong. She wished they could rewind to when everything was okay again. And then she remembered why things weren’t okay. The feelings, the jealousy, the anger. It made her want to cry, or scream, or- damn it, kiss Charity. Which wasn’t possible. She needed another solution. 

“I think you were right.” Vanessa said, quietly. Charity frowned.

“As much as I love hearing those words... What am I right about?” Charity asked. 

“I think I need to find a beautiful girl, and kiss the shit out of her.” Vanessa stated. Charity didn’t reply, she was deathly silent, so Vanessa carried on. “I think I should go into town, go to a gay bar and kiss the first woman I see.” She said, with a nod.

“Are you admitting that you like women?” Charity whispered, and Vanessa couldn’t bring herself to look round at Charity’s reactions, so she stared straight ahead. 

“I’m saying I don’t know, and I want to find out.” She said, bluntly.

“Don’t you think you’re being a little hasty here? I mean, isn’t there anyone closer to home you could try that out with?” Charity asked, her voice soft.

“If you’re going to suggest yourself again then no, I don’t want to be just another notch on your belt, Charity.” Vanessa shot out, nastily. She felt Charity tense next to her, and it made her feel awful. “Sorry. I’m sorry. That was unnecessary.” Vanessa apologised, guiltily. 

“Lets go tonight.” Charity suggested, but there was a bite in her voice. She was angry. Vanessa couldn’t really blame her. 

“You don’t have to come-“ Vanessa started, backtracking. 

“If you’re going to go throw yourself at some random person, I want to be there so they don’t take advantage.” Charity huffed out, staring straight ahead. 

“I can protect myself.” Vanessa insisted angrily.

“Please, you’re tiny, all they’d have to do is pick you up and you’d be gone forever.” Charity scoffed, though the usual cheekiness was completely missing. Vanessa hated this.

“Okay.” Vanessa said.

“Okay.” Charity repeated. 

Vanessa regretted her suggestion. She completely and utterly regretted it. Being in a gay bar, with a dressed up charity who was probably going to get his on left, right and centre? It was Vanessa’s, admittedly new, idea of a nightmare. 

She’d gone home to get dressed, but she just wasn’t feeling the motivation to try. 

“Hey sis! Woah, what’re you doing?” Vanessa’s sister, Tracy, asked. Vanessa looked around her room, at the clothes scattered around everywhere. 

“Nothing!” Vanessa replied, her voice dripping with panic. Tracy looked over at her, before rolling her eyes.

“You know, saying ‘nothing’ is way more suspicious than telling me you were having a clear out, right?” She laughed, smirking smugly. 

“Then I’m having a clear out!” Vanessa exclaimed, holding her forehead in an attempt to massage her stress headache away. 

“Now, what’s really going on?” Tracy asked, sitting on the edge of Vanessa’s bed, the only space that didn’t have clothes towering on it. The piles of clothes moved as she sat, before an avalanche started, leading to a heap of clothes falling on the floor. Vanessa huffed, while Tracy giggled. “You got a got date or something?” 

“No!” Vanessa yelled, huffing when Tracy only raised an eyebrow. She groaned in irritation. “I’m going out, if you must know.” She told her, before holding more clothes up, frowning at them in distain. Tracy squealed in excitement, causing Vanessa to look her way.

“I’ve wanted to go out with you for ages, where are we going?” She asked, bouncing on the bed, causing even more clothes to fall. Vanessa felt panic bubble up in her throat.

“No, no! Not you, just me!” Vanessa shot out, anxiously. Tracy observed her, before she frowned, sadly. 

“What’s going on, Vanessa. And don’t lie, because I’ll know.” She said, gently. Vanessa felt her eyes water slightly. She lifted more clothes up in an attempt to distract herself from the fear of coming out to her sister. 

Vanessa tried to tell her, quietly. Too quietly, apparently. 

“What? You’re going to have to speak up, Ness. I can’t hear you.” Tracy encouraged, patiently.

“I’m going to a gay bar.” Vanessa admitted, expecting Tracy to laugh, or be angry.

“Cool! Can I still come though?” Tracy asked, brightly. 

Vanessa turned to look at her in confusion, tears forming in her eyes. 

“Oh Ness, I knew. Have done for a while.” Tracy told her, causing Vanessa to frown, her tears falling at the movement.

“But, how? I don’t even know, this is just to see if I like it.” Vanessa whispered, her breaths becoming shaky.

“I just had a feeling, that’s all. There’s no pressure, Sis. You can be whoever you want. You don’t need labels. Just like whatever you want to like.” Tracy told her, honestly. It made Vanessa’s heart swell with happiness, despite her fears. 

“I can even help find you a fit girl!” She exclaimed in excitement, grinning from ear to ear. 

Vanessa rolled her eyes, before fishing through more of her clothes for an outfit, scratching her neck in frustration when she came up empty. 

“Ness, lets look in my wardrobe, I’m sure there’s something in there that’ll make you look hot to trot!” Tracy declared before practically sprinting out the door. Vanessa rolled her eyes, but smiled slightly, following her sister out of the room.

When Vanessa and Tracy turned up at the Woolpack later that night, all done up and ready to go, she really started to feel nervous. She was overthinking it. What if she didn’t actually like women? What if she just didn’t like anyone? She felt her stress levels rise quickly, and she begged the heavens for a distraction. 

Chas dropped a beer in front of her, causing her to smile gratefully. She downed a large portion of it in one go, before placing the glass back down, bouncing on the balls of her feet anxiously. 

“A lady that can drink and dress up, if only I was a lady lover, I’d snatch you up.” Rhona joked, approaching her at the bar. Vanessa laughed, giving her a half hug. 

“Too late, you wasted your opportunity!” Charity stated suddenly, approaching them. She gave Vanessa a once over, smirking appreciatively. “I won’t waste my opportunity though, babe.” She winked, causing Vanessa to frown, grabbing for her drink again. 

“You’re not getting an opportunity.” She rushed out in apprehension, gulping her drink again. Charity wore a bright white casual suit, which sent Vanessa into a whole heap of nerves. This was going to be a disaster. Vanessa went for the complete opposite, wearing a tight black bodysuit, with black waist high trousers and a leather jacket to finish. Looking at Charity was starting to make her feel so hot that she decided to roll her sleeves up, holding the pint for moral support.

“Right, lose the sister, lets go.” Charity stated, making her way around the bar. Rhona raised her eyebrows in confusion, while Vanessa eyes widened in fear. 

“Actually, I’m coming with. Figured the chances of you ditching my sister was so high that I’d come to make sure she got home safe.” Tracy said. Sarcastically. Smiling smugly at Charity. 

“I wouldn’t ditch her! No, nope, you’re not coming. That’s final. Come on, Ness.” Charity said, standing next to her, expecting her to fob Tracy off. 

“Actually, I think she should come, for moral support.” Vanessa said, quietly. Charity’s eyebrows shot up, before she growled loudly. 

“Fine! But if you speak once, I’m kicking you out of the taxi.” She threatened, before pushing past them and heading out of the pub. Vanessa sighed fearfully. 

“What’s going on?” Rhona asked, looking between Tracy and Vanessa. Vanessa decided that she only had the strength to come out once tonight, so she guiltily shrugged the question off. 

“Sorry Rhona, our cabs here, I’ll fill you in later!” Vanessa spluttered, rushing out of the pub before Rhona had a chance to even reply. Tracy followed after her, both jumping into the taxi.

“It’s about time.” Charity muttered, before they drove off. 

Vanessa spent the whole drive in her own head, a feeling of dread filling up her chest. She didn’t like knowing, but she started to think it was better than the alternative. If she doesn’t know, she can play off these feelings she keeps getting for Charity as just confusion, but if she finds out that she does like women then that’s going to ignite the fire, she’ll be a loose cannon of emotions. It’ll be a disaster. 

When they arrived at the gaybar, Vanessa jumped out of the taxi, hesitating at the entrance. Charity noticed her reluctance, so she stood next to her, looking up at it. 

“I know we joked about it, but I’m serious. Kiss me now, no strings, and you don’t have to go in.” Charity said, looking down at Vanessa with a kind smile, Vanessa looked up at her, at her lips, before quickly turning away, towards the entrance again. She couldn’t do ‘no strings’ if she tried. Charity sighed next to her. “If you’re not ready, we don’t have to do any of this. The ball’s in your court, Ness. No pressure.” 

Vanessa took a deep breath, before stepping forward, into the bar. Charity followed close behind. 

They found Tracy at the bar, chatting away to a group of ladies. Vanessa slowed her pace, her hands sweating with stress. Charity placed a calming hand on her back, urging her to go forward. 

“Hey, sis!” Tracy squealed excitedly, and it made Vanessa squint in embarrassment. “Girls, this is Vanessa, my sister.” Tracy introduced, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively. Vanessa was then bombarded by a choir of compliments, causing her to blush shyly. 

“Hey darlin’, who’s the lady?” One of the women said, gesturing to Charity. Vanessa went to introduce her, but Tracy cut in quickly. 

“That’s just her bodyguard, pretend she’s not there.” She said with a wave of her hand, uncaring. Vanessa scowled at her, causing her to wink. She felt Charity’s irritation, so she rubbed her arm reassuringly. 

“This is Charity, my friend.” Vanessa reintroduced, properly. Charity scratched the material on her back where her hand was resting, a small sign of gratitude, but it was very distracting. 

“Just a friend?” One of the women asked, with a raised eyebrow. 

Vanessa stuttered over a reply, so Charity cut in and spoke instead.

“I’ve tried my best, but she won’t have me, I’m afraid.” Charity told them, smiling. Vanessa looked over at her, but she seemed closed off, which confused her. 

“Mind if I steal Vanessa away, then?” One of the women said, pushing forward. Vanessa heard Tracy gasp in excitement, looking her way with a bright smile. She was a very beautiful woman, Vanessa didn’t really know how to react to the attention. 

“Sure.” Charity said, though it sounded strained. 

The woman stepped forward, practically pushing Charity out of the way, causing Vanessa to frown at the loss of contact on her back. “I’ll buy us a drink.” 

“Okay.” Vanessa replied, slightly dazed by the situation. She looked up at Charity, who stared back, scowling. Vanessa raised an eyebrow in question, but Charity only shrugged, reaching over for one of the shots Tracy had bought, throwing it down her throat in one swift motion. 

“Here.” The woman said, a drink in hand.

“Oh, thanks…” She trailed off, realising she didn’t know the woman’s name. 

“Marissa.” She introduced, smiling softly. She was very pretty. She had long, ginger hair and a dimpled smile. She was definitely attractive. But, there was just something missing. 

“You’re new to this, aren’t you?” She asked, with a little grin. Vanessa frowned.

“Am I that obvious?” She asked, kind of disgusted at the thought.

“It’s the constant look of panic that gives you away.” She laughed, which caused Vanessa to laugh too. She looked up, her eyes searching, before they land on Charity, who looks to be downing as many shots as she can. “You like her though, right?” The girl probes, still smiling. Vanessa turns back to her, fearfully. “It’s okay, I get it. Why aren’t you over there with her though?” She asked.

“She doesn’t to relationships. She hardly does friendships. I was helping her with her son, that’s all we are to each other, or- Well... That’s all I am to her, at least.” Vanessa sighed,, rubbing her eyes in frustration. Marissa grabbed for her hands, pulling them away from her face. 

“She seemed pretty pissed when I pulled you away, you know?” She commented, and Vanessa scoffed.

“Yeah, because you took her plaything away, it isn’t about me, it’s about control.” Vanessa bit out, angrily. 

“I don’t think you’re giving her enough credit, here.” Marissa said, sipping on her drink. Vanessa shrugged, weakly. “So why did you come here together, then?” She asked.

“I’ve never kissed a woman, I figured I should get that out of the way if I was going to figure out all the crazy things going on in my head.” Vanessa told her, honestly. 

“Gotcha.” Marissa nodded, in understanding. “But, you already know you like girls, right? You’re just suppressing, because it’s easier, right?” She prodded, gently. It made Vanessa uncomfortable, how accurate this stranger was about her emotions. “I’ve been there, it’s okay.” She reassured. “I didn’t know until I was 35.” She confessed.

“Really?” Vanessa asked, shocked and somewhat calmed by that fact, 

“Yeah” The woman confirmed, grinning. “I was troubled by it for a long time, but now I love myself. You’ll get there.” She stated, knocking Vanessa’s leg with her foot. “Now, as for the kissing thing, d’you wanna find out if you like it?” Marissa offered with a smirk, causing Vanessa to shift her weight from one foot to the other shyly. 

“You’d kiss me, after I told you all that?” Vanessa asked, curiously. 

“Hey, I’m not going to pass up the opportunity to kiss a beautiful woman.” She beamed, cheekily. She stepped forward, into Vanessa’s space, tugging slightly on her leather jacket to pull her closer too. “Do you wanna?” She asked, patiently. 

Vanessa looked at her, then she glanced behind her, at Charity. She was chatting to all the other women, she didn’t seem at all interested in Vanessa. It made her chest ache, but it pushed her to make up her mind. Stop waiting for perfect, when perfect might not actually exist. She looked back at the woman in front of her, nodding ever so slightly. Marissa smiled softly, before she leaned forward. 

Vanessa leaned forward too, meeting her half way. 

They kissed. It was slightly hesitant to begin with, but quickly became passionate. The woman had wandering hands, travelling just a little too fast for Vanessa’s fancy, but she was a great kisser. Vanessa liked it, for sure. Better than any other kiss she had ever had before. It gave her all the right feelings down below, just nothing in her chest, where she really wanted it. 

She didn’t expect to fall in love with this woman, but she hoped it would be enough to stop her glancing behind her as soon as they broke apart, searching in Charity’s direction. 

Charity wasn’t there, maybe she’d found somebody too. The thought made Vanessa feel sick. 

“That bad, huh?” Marissa asked, stepping back slightly. Vanessa whipped her head back round to look at her, an apology on her lips. “It’s okay, I get it. Good kiss, just not with the right person, right?” She smiled, sadly. “We’re all kissing to forget someone else.” She sighed. 

“I’m really sorry. You’re such an amazing kisser, I’d have loved to have felt a spark with you.” Vanessa told her, honestly. 

“Hey, it’s okay, I really do understand. I just- I think you’d have a lot more luck with her than I had with my girl, if only you took the leap.” She shrugged, looking at Vanessa. 

“I don’t know…” Vanessa trailed off, her eyes roaming the room, looking for Charity, but coming up empty. 

“And you won’t know, if you don’t try.” Marissa said. “Look, here’s my number, if things don’t work out, I’d love to take you out. And if you ever just want a friend, I’m a call away, okay?” She offered, and Vanessa took the number gratefully. 

“Same goes for me too, I’ll text you so you have my number too. We all need someone who understands sometimes, right?” Vanessa said, and Marissa nodded in agreement. She kissed her on the cheek, before returning to the group. Vanessa didn’t move straight away, choosing to drink her drink in peace, giving herself a chance to think.

She’s gay. That much is certain. Everything just hits different with a woman. Every touch, and kiss, and word. All of it. It’s all better with a woman. She gets that now. She accepts that. 

But damn it, why does she have to like Charity. 

Maybe it was just a phase. Maybe she could kiss her, get it out of her system, and move on. 

Maybe. 

***

Vanessa left for home the moment she found out Charity had left. Vanessa had searched everywhere before Tracy finally told her. She could have throttled her. Instead she made a beeline for the door. 

She was going to just head home, but something dragged her over to the Woolpack instead. 

She walked into the bar, catching Chas’s eye. She waved at her, receiving a wave in return. She walked over to her. 

“What happened tonight? She’s come back in the worst mood.” Chas asked, leaning on the bar in interest. 

“I honestly don’t know, one minute she was there and then the next she wasn’t. I searched for ages before my stupid sister finally let me know she’d left. Mind if I go through?” Vanessa explained, before starting to make her way towards the back, Chas nodded. 

“Sure, love. Good luck.” She smiled in amusement, Vanessa just rolled her eyes jokingly. 

She walked through, her eyes falling straight onto that damn fort. Vanessa was starting to think that Charity would keep it forever. She walked over, taking a peek inside, sure enough, Charity was sat in there, nursing a bottle of whiskey. Vanessa frowned, shuffling inside. Charity looked up in shock, wiping her face frantically. 

“What’re you doing here?” She asked, flustered. 

“I could ask you the same, I searched for you for ages, Charity.” Vanessa told her, huffing. 

“I didn’t think you’d notice, you seemed busy.” Charity mumbled, taking a large swig from her drink. Vanessa looked over at her in confusion. “How was it? The kiss.” Charity asked, continuing to sip form the drink as she spoke. 

“It was alright, I don’t know.” Vanessa admitted, sounding torn. Charity glanced up at that, her drink hovering at her lips. 

“I didn’t think you’d like it that much.” Charity told her, letting the bottle meet her lips, chugging a large amount down in one go with a grimace. Vanessa followed the movement in amazement, before looking away with a frown.

“Why d’you say that?” Vanessa asked, in bewilderment. 

“Your ideal kiss- she didn’t meet those standards. Too hands on, not soft enough, too busy indulging herself. It’s not you. It’s not what you needed.” She told her, playing with the material of the blanket beneath her. 

Vanessa stared at her, unwavering. She got an undeniable eruption of butterflies in her stomach at the admission. Charity had noticed. ‘Uncaring, selfish’ Charity had noticed that Vanessa’s first kiss with a woman wasn’t what Vanessa would want. Because she had listened. She had taken in every word. 

Vanessa moved closer to Charity, ever so slightly. 

“D’you think you could do better?” She whispered, staring intently at Charity. Charity glanced up at the tone of voice, her eyes widening slightly. 

“Babe, I could give you everything you needed and more.” The words were confident, but the way she said it was shaky and distracted. Vanessa looked into her eyes, watching an array of emotions fly across them. Fear, excitement, confusion. 

“What’re you waiting for, then?” Vanessa asked, completely caught in the moment. She had no idea where the sudden burst of confidence had come from, but she was going to take advantage of it. She wouldn’t know if she didn’t try, after all. 

She shot forward, planning to crash her lips into Charity, but she stopped her with a hand on her chest. Vanessa hesitated, worried she had read the whole thing wrong, but them Charity moved forward. 

She placed her hands on Vanessa’s neck, so softly. They stroked her skin, before she tugged her ever so gently, coaxing her forward. Vanessa moved with her, her breath hitched, her heart fluttered, she waited. 

Charity looked at her, with such a gentle, patient look. Her fingers moved softly over her neck, stroking the skin, drawing patterns. She was in no rush, and it made Vanessa’s whole body vibrate with energy. Her stomach was doing summersaults and the sensation. 

Then, just when Vanessa felt like Charity might never kiss her, she tugged again, nudging her forward, capturing her lips in the softest kiss Vanessa had ever felt in her whole life. She moved so slowly, so thoughtfully, that Vanessa’s chest felt like it was constricting with emotion, she felt flutters and pangs all around her stomach and her chest, every feeling overwhelmed her. 

Charity had one hand playing with the small hairs on the back of her neck, while she kept the other at the front, resting her thumb on Vanessa’s chin, coaxing her to tilt her head sideways ever so slightly, before she opened her mouth and-

Vanessa gasped, her stomach lurching with an indescribable need for Charity in that moment. She felt it everywhere, it felt like her whole body was heating up. Charity’s fingernails scraped at Vanessa’s neck ever so slightly, making her shiver. She grazed her tongue against Vanessa’s lip suggestively, causing Vanessa to moan softly. It made Charity’s grip on her neck tighten ever so slightly, before releasing again. Vanessa moved closer, wanting more. She didn’t know what to do with her hands, so while they kissed, she moved into a kneeling position in front of Charity, making her higher. She placed her hands on Charity’s legs, squeezing softly with each wave of arousal she felt. 

She tilted her head the other way, flicking Charity’s bottom lip with her tongue before capturing Charity’s lip between her teeth gently. The action caused Charity to whimper. The sound caused the feeling low in Vanessa’s belly to intensify. She moaned deeply, pressing into Charity a little more, her hands finding the front of that irresistible white suit, tugging her closer. Charity complied, letting her hands clasp a little tighter, pulling her in a little more, her actions becoming more desperate. 

Their kisses turned needier, but didn’t lose the softness they started with, there was a constant level of thoughtfulness in every single kiss, it made Vanessa’s heart flutter. It was perfect. But, that was dangerous. She wanted to feel less afterwords, not more. 

She pulled away, gasping for air. She threw her head back, begging for the air to return to her lungs. 

Suddenly she felt Charity pull her forward, so that Vanessa was sat on her lap, before her lips grazed her neck, gently. She didn’t push, she didn’t force herself, she waited for Vanessa’s approval. 

It came in the form of a soft moan, at the feeling of teeth dragging down the column of her throat. 

Charity wrapped one arm around her waist, while the other stayed on her neck, softly moving her throat in whatever direction she needed so that she could kiss where she wanted. Everything about it screamed sexy, and Vanessa felt powerless in the best way. She licked and sucked just enough to drive Vanessa crazy, without leaving any marks in the process. The sound of her lips and her tongue alone was enough to send Vanessa into overdrive, everything about it overwhelmed her. 

Eventually Charity pulled away, nudging Vanessa to look down at her, before she reached up again to kiss her. Soft, gentle, thoughtful kisses. It took Vanessa’s breath away. She really hadn’t experienced anything like it. Nobody had been this focussed on her in a kiss, every movement seemed like it was purely for Vanessa’s pleasure, it completely blew her away. 

They kissed for the longest time, it felt like it went on for forever, and yet she never wanted to stop. 

Eventually they ended up laying down, kissing lazily, both on the cusp of sleep. 

“You weren’t lying about giving me everything and more, huh?” Vanessa muttered, turning onto her back, laughing lightly. Charity turned onto her back, too. Now that they were there, at the end of an intense make out session, she started to think about the consequences. She couldn’t like Charity Dingle, especially when she had other people on her radar, too. She couldn’t compete with Cain, they had so much history it was ridiculous. 

“Charity Dingle doesn’t do things in halves.” Charity laughed, smirking cockily. Vanessa looked at her, her lips getting drawn to her lips again before she forced them to look away. 

“So, friends that kiss every now and then, no strings; that can work, right?” Vanessa asked, looking anywhere but at Charity. The fingers that stroked small patterns in her arm stopped suddenly, but she hesitated to speak. Vanessa panicked. “Or friends that kiss just once and never again, if you’d rather. No pressure.” She rambled, chuckling anxiously. 

Charity didn’t speak for a long time, and it made Vanessa feel sick. 

“No strings, of course.” Charity replied, quietly. She spoke so quietly, in fact, that Vanessa couldn’t decipher her tone. Which made her nervous. Was she mad, or sad, or happy, or completely unfazed?

Suddenly she turned, hovering over Vanessa, leaning down to kiss her passionately. She groaned into the kiss, caught of guard. Vanessa dug her hands into Charity’s hair, massaging her scalp in delight, kissing back just as passionately. Charity pulled back, suddenly. She looked down at her lips. 

“Maybe we could make it more a ‘now’ thing, though. Rather than now and then, yeah?” She asked with a sexy, devilish grin. 

Vanessa was more than happy to comply.


End file.
